


Third Time's the Charm

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Themes, M/M, Men Crying, a tiny bit of smut at the end of the first chapter, but it's artsy smut so it doesn't count, dark subjects strangely mixed with poorly-executed light-hearted humor, deadlock time period, i'll beta later, light mentions of murder, low key an angst fic but don't worry i don't believe in sad endings, mentions of various real word issues and dark subjects, reluctantly added minor ocs, starring baby mccree, young mchanzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-06-28 23:16:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15717102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: The three times Jesse McCree met Hanzo Shimada and the one time Hanzo...stayed...or something.(UPDATE: my depiction of Deadlock did NOT age well with the addition of the new short)





	1. The First Time

Jesse McCree wasn't nervous in the slightest to be out of his home state for the first time in his life, suddenly dumped in a new country who's language he didn't speak a word of. He wasn't nervous at all of their task, trafficking expensive handguns and cheap cocaine with a real, actual crime boss, nor was he nervous that after asking around, he found the only course of action his gang planned to take on the off chance it was discovered the cocaine they were providing had been cut with caffeine powder, was to "play it by ear".

Lastly, he was not nervous about the fact that Deadlock had decided to tip their hats and waltz passed the guards and camp out in the mansion side-yards of the very organization leaders they were dealing with, in a "power move". The guards, as well as Mr. Sojiro Shimada had just snickered as they set up camp, but it hadn't been the sort of snickering that would calm someone's nerves.

Why the Yakuza wanted to deal with some mid-level gang like Deadlock, Jesse didn't know. It wasn't like Deadlock hadn't made any names for itself in the underground world, but they weren't the biggest or the best, or even the tenth biggest and best. Squeezebox had said they should think of it as their first international gig. Jesse had said that a gang probably wasn't fit to take on big, international gigs if they were led by a guy named Squeezebox.

Maybe the Shimada's didn't want the biggest and the best, for whatever reason. Maybe they thought some mid-level morons who had no regard for their own lives would be less likely to be recognized.

Or maybe they had just pissed everybody else off.

"McCree's nervous." said Marco as he tried for the third time to shove the metal pole into the wrong end of an unfinished tent.

"No I ain't." Jesse replied. "Why would I be nervous?"

"I dunno, you tell me."

"The only thing I got to be nervous about is that Squeezebox is 'bout to drop thirteen packages a' Jiffy Pop in the dirt."

Squeezebox, in an effort to appear assertive, had taken all hundred pounds of food by himself from the cheap dropship they had hired. Jesse watched as Squeezebox got about ten feet before dropping the thirteen packages of Jiffy Pop that he'd balanced into a single column atop the frozen pizzas into the grass. Marco snickered, and Jesse realized once again just how in over their heads they were.

Squeezebox adjusted the sunglasses that he didn't need and began to once again stack the popcorn into a single-file stack on the pizzas. He got another five feet before everything toppled over.

To Jesse's utter astonishment, Squeezebox started a third time to try and stack the popcorn.

"Aren't you gonna help him?" Marco asked.

"He won't learn anything."

"Well, we won't eat anything if you don't."

Jesse grumbled about resenting being the mother hen but stepped forwards anyway, taking the Jiffy Pop from Squeezebox with both hands.

"I could've had those." said Squeezebox as Jesse dumped the food in the appropriate place. 

"You sure could've."

After that, Jesse helped out Marco, who was now around try ten with the tent pole. Jesse was just thankful that no one was watching them anymore. 

An hour passed, and they had set up camp, for better or for worse. They left their bikes in the ship, to Jesse's relief. The sun was setting, and Marco and Jose examined a few little wells tucked into the side-yards of the Shimada property, trying to determine their function. Jose got his hand stuck in one.

"Alright, men." Squeezebox announced. "We ain't meeting with Sojiro until tomorrow, so 'til then, nobody do nothing stupid, ok? Stay at camp, don't piss in any birdbaths."

Jesse was restless from the flight, and the idea of staying with the other Deadlock members for the next twenty four hours was about as appealing as eating a half pound of cow dung. So as soon as Squeezebox got off his soap box, Jesse turned on his heals to immediately disregard the advice.

"Where you goin', McCree?" Squeezebox asked.

"I'm gonna go find a birdbath to piss in." 

"You can't do that."

"Ok." Jesse replied, already passing under the small bridge that separated the side-yard from the rest of the manor. 

In unfamiliar, cold air, Jesse took off on a walk. Hoping to find a way off the property, Jesse spent some time wandering up stairs and skipping over semi-decorative rocks, but after a few minutes he began to suspect he was only traveling further into the heart of the manor. The manor itself was laid out more like a college campus than a single big house. Jesse passed by quite a few small buildings, all set in a style of architecture that Jesse's only prior knowledge of had come from movies and cheap teriyaki joints.

The movies and teriyaki hadn't prepared him for this, though, architecture so high-scale. Jesse had never been much for visual art, but he felt a certain appreciation for it, as much as it clashed with his own get up.

Eventually, he caught the sounds of people talking. Seeing nothing else to occupy his time, he turned towards the sound, keeping tight to the right-hand paths to avoid being seen.

With the sight of a few dark haired figures, he found that the source of the voices came from a courtyard that he could just make out part of from where he was standing. He took a hard right, and scoured the perimeter of the yard, hoping to find a good place to catch a view.

He finally settled in on a little grassy platform on the east side of the courtyard, snug between a wooden staircase that distinctly framed part of the courtyard and two structures. The structure to his right was a beautiful red and white thing with large doorways and windowed spaces on each side. Inside was the the largest metal bell he had ever seen. A few feet behind him, the ground dropped out. When Jesse gazed down it, he found it a maybe fifty foot drop to a long, thin path of grass and trees, snug between the space of the property and the tall wall composing the outer shell. Almost like a moat, but with no water and more natural looking. In front of him and beyond the wooden staircase, Jesse could see two thirds of the courtyard, and the people in it. And if he gazed out even farther he could spot the gates of the Shimada manor, currently half open.

The low wooden staircase hid him perfectly so long as he took his hat off. He thought it unlikely that anyone would see him, but he planned a quick emergency escape route, having no intentions of being caught. The Shimada's may not have cared that Deadlock had camped out on their turf, but Jesse doubted that they would take so kindly to spying.

Once sure that he was hidden, he looked to the dark-haired figures before him, about half a dozen people of varying heights. Most everyone was sitting or standing quietly, but two boys fought with swords in the center of the square, observed by the others.

The two boys seemed to be in their late teens. One looked slightly younger, maybe sixteen, with shorter hair, shorter height, and a rounder face. A white headband was tied over his spiky hair, and draped across his slender frame were folds of white silk, accented with green. His pants were loose at the thighs, but they were pulled tight into some of the most serious looking metal boots Jesse had ever seen. Jesse thought the boy looked somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite place why.

Jesse gazed to the taller one, and his eyes widened.

The taller boy was wearing the same thing as his younger companion, but with hints of orange instead of green. He looked close to Jesse's age. His build was strong and visually appealing. Jesse liked his hair, soft and long and tied low. He had a sharp, pretty face, high cheekbones and a pointy chin. He was clearly the better swordsman of the two, although Jesse suspected either of them could have both knocked his gunslinging ass on the floor with an educated kitchen knife.

Jesse strongly suspected the two boys were siblings, judging by their matching proud noses and hawkish eyebrows.

Most of the people watching looked like they were between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five, but one woman looked older, middle-aged. She was tiny, thin, hair pulled tight into a bun. Her face was pretty, but her eyes looked as dead as the ones on frozen fish Jesse saw in the marketplace sometimes back home. She fit the bill for what Jesse had heard about Sojiro's wife. She also had a proud nose and hawkish eyebrows, and Jesse wondered if she was the mother of the two boys.

The younger one lunged forwards with two much force, throwing off his own balance. The older one dodged it with ease, and struck once with his blade and once with his leg, the blade to disarm his brother and the leg to bring him to the ground. The younger one landed flat on his back. The older reached his hand out to help him up.

"Hanzo." said the woman with the bun, and the older boy winced. Jesse wasn't sure what 'Hanzo' meant, but he recognized the statement as an order. 

Jesse watched as the older boy stepped his foot onto his brother's chest. There was a yelp from the younger as the older tipped his body forwards, pressing his weight into the sharp metal toes of his boot. Neither of the two boys looked pleased with the arrangement, and Jesse felt a wave of distaste for the woman.

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Hanzo." she said, and Jesse realized 'Hanzo' was the older boy's name. 

Hanzo Shimada. The elder son. Jesse was now certain that the woman was their mother, given away by her dynamic with Hanzo. That made Hanzo and the brother who had lost to him Sojiro's two sons.

Jesse watched intently Hanzo as he helped his brother up with a strong arm. The younger looked more than a little winded as he got to his feet, and even from far away, Jesse could see two little points of red against his chest where Hanzo's boot had pieced his skin. 

Over the next half hour, Hanzo sparred with a few others. He came out on top, winning four in a row, knocking them all flat on their backs. But he never gloated over his wins, treating everyone with a sort of distant respect. He obeyed every command of his mother. Luckily, she didn't make him step on anyone else. 

Finally, possibly just from exhaustion, Hanzo got sloppy and lost a match against a young woman he'd already bested once, the one who he'd had the most difficulty with. Upon his defeat, his mother turned away, staring off into the distance with the same tight expression she'd had the whole time. She said nothing. Hanzo's brother stuck out a hand, but Hanzo got up on his own. Jesse felt he probably wasn't supposed to have seen that, let alone any of this.

After that, other pairs of people sparred and Hanzo took a break to get some water and mingle quietly. Jesse had a hard time tearing his gaze from him. There was something fascinating about Hanzo, about the way he carried him body and face that filled Jesse with both intrigue and a physical warmth. He watched how Hanzo interacted with others, fascinated. Hanzo never so much as softening his face from a frown or spoke unless he needed to, even when his mother wasn't watching. He stood even farther away from his peers than what seemed standard in the environment, which was already pretty distant, and Jesse couldn't tell if his rigidness came from a sort of pride or a disinterest in his companions.

Jesse couldn't imagine taking himself so seriously. Although, he supposed, he'd never had to.

Maybe an hour after Jesse had arrived, Mrs. Shimada made an announcement, and the group dissipated, everyone following her inside at different speeds. 

Hanzo lingered. 

Jesse's heart skipped a beat as Hanzo scanned the wooden staircase that Jesse with sharp, attentive eyes. Jesse darted out of view.

Hanzo's brother called for him, and Hanzo gave up looking. Jesse bolted away as soon as they were out of sight.

Jesse took his sweet time getting back to his camp, walking straight into several cherry trees as he realized, for the first time since all boy's baseball camp, that he batted for both teams.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse set out again the next morning, along the same path. They weren't meeting with Sojiro until four, and Jesse had "snuck" out of camp again. It hadn't been hard.

It didn't take long for Jesse to find the courtyard again. No one was there, so Jesse settled in the spot behind the wooden staircase with a book until he heard footsteps.

His heart thumped as he peaked up for the source, and then thumped harder when he found it.

It was Hanzo, carrying a long bow and a quiver of arrows. He made his way to the left side of the courtyard, perfectly in Jesse's view, and turned his attention to a simple target on the other side of the courtyard. Jesse watched attentively as Hanzo pulled the string back with steady, powerful arms. A chunk of Hanzo's bangs fluttered into his eyes as he released the arrow, but the shot was still a perfect bulls-eye, and Jesse felt the same burst of heat he'd felt the day before. At that point, he seriously considered jumping out from behind the staircase to introduce himself, but the sound of a new pair of footsteps entering the courtyard stopped Jesse before he could go through with his terrible plan.

The new footsteps belonged to Hanzo's brother, who was wearing a hoodie over his clothing. The hood was pulled up over his head, and it looked far too inconspicuous for Jesse not to wonder.

"Konnichiwa, Genji." said Hanzo. Yesterday night, Jesse had seen Hanzo's mouth move a few times, but this was the first time he heard Hanzo speak. His voice was deeper than Jesse had expected, a rough baritone. 

Furthermore, Jesse had seen enough soaps to recognize 'konnichiwa' as a greeting, and with that he pieced together that 'Genji' was the younger brother's name.

The two swapped a few lines. Hanzo suddenly looked concerned, and reached for the hood covering his brother's head. He flipped it down, revealing bright green hair that certainly hadn't been colored the day before. Hanzo's eyes widened into circles. Genji, however, looked unfazed. He started to say something, but Hanzo cut him off with an angry string of words. Genji's eyes narrowed, and his expression turned dismissive as the two of them started to bicker.

With a start, Jesse finally realized why Genji was familiar to him. He vaguely resembled Naruto.

"Hanzo?" a man's voice called with an echo of a door being opened on the other side of the courtyard. Jesse recognized the voice as the one who'd hired him.

Struggling against him, Hanzo pulled Genji's hood back over his head.

"Shimada Hanzo?" the voice called again.

"Hai." Hanzo replied.

From the doorway, Sojiro asked something that Jesse didn't catch, and Hanzo gave an answer with a straight face. Jesse didn't have any way to prove it, but he was nearly positive that whatever Hanzo had said was a lie.

Sojiro went back inside. Genji turned to Hanzo and said something that Jesse recognized as an insult before whirling away in an angry huff and leaving to a set of doors in a different building. Hanzo turned away from his brother, giving Jesse a good look at his face.

The moment the door slammed, marking Genji's departure, Hanzo's angry expression dissipated and his eyes began to well with tears. 

' _Uh oh_.' Jesse thought.

Dropping his bow into the sand, Hanzo wiped his eyes with little success. He then took off, fast-walking from the courtyard, traveling quickly towards Jesse's hiding spot.

' _Uh oh._ ' Jesse thought harder.

Hanzo hopped down the stairs, and Jesse did his best to stay out of view. To his extremely good fortune, Hanzo took a hard right upon exiting the stairway, without so much as a glace in Jesse's direction. He continued down the path Jesse had taken to get to where he was, and Jesse slipped just slightly out of sight in case Hanzo turned around.

A moment passed. Heart racing, Jesse peaked out from behind the wall he was tucked against in the direction Hanzo had gone, just in time to catch the dark top of Hanzo's head bobbing out of sight. Jesse realized that he was climbing down the outside of the cliff and into the moat.

Jesse didn't move. There were so many reasons why he should have just left at that point. But two strong parts of him burned in refusal; fascination and sympathy.

So he glimpsed over the edge of the tiny cliff and into the low ally. Keyed by a few flashes of orange that he likely wouldn't have seen had he not been looking, he spotted Hanzo tucked under a thick expanse of trees, back to the outer wall. 

Hanzo might have been able to climb down fifty feet of vertical rock, but Jesse was at a loss. In front of him, across a small gap, he spotted some wooden beams that underpinned a temple, and Jesse wondered if he could use them like a ladder. He had to take a bit of a detour to get to them, slipping through the temple that he was most definitely not supposed to be in, but when he arrived, he found his plan was successful as he made his way down the crossing wooden poles. They let up about ten feet from the ground, stopped by the boulders they jutted from, so Jesse let go and slid down the rocks, earning a few scrapes in the process.

He neared in on the corner of trees Hanzo was hidden behind. Jesse got the feeling the only reason he was able to sneak up on Hanzo was because he was emotionally compromised.

Jesse took another step forward, not sure what his plan was. His eyes widened as his foot landed on a brittle twig that not only gave way with a snap, but jingled his spurs. 

A burst of adrenaline rushed into Jesse's system as Hanzo peaked out of the trees.

"Howdy." Jesse greeted, less sure about what to do than he had ever been in his life.

Hanzo's eyes went wide. He must have been shocked, as his tears ceased to leak altogether. One hung from the end of his nose.

"I'm sorry, I'll jet if you tell me to, but can I--," Jesse stammered, "can I help you? Or somethin'?"

Jesse untied the red bandanna from his neck and held it outright.

"You can have this if you want." Jesse followed. "For your eyes."

Hanzo's face turned dark. There was some shuffling as he got to his feet, and there was some angry Japanese as he grabbed Jesse and pulled him behind the bushes.

"Easy now." Jesse begged as he was yanked under the trees, receiving a few more nicks in the process. 

Hanzo pushed him against the wall. It was a bold move, considering the fact that Jesse had a pistol clearly strapped to his hip and Hanzo had nothing.

Jesse put his hands up. 

"Whoa there, ok, I'll try another time." Jesse said, trying to take a step back. His spurs scraped against the wall.

Hanzo eyed Jesse with an angry glare, his gaze tracing up Jesse's dark pants and tight chaps, passed his torn leather jacket, and up to his short-rimmed stetson. Jesse eyed Hanzo right back.

Hanzo was shorter than Jesse had expected. He had been one of the tallest out of all the people Jesse had seen him with, but now Jesse could see than Hanzo was a head smaller than him. He was, however, just as visually appealing up close, and Jesse felt a quick kernel of warmth in his stomach momentarily overtake his adrenaline rush.

"Deadlock." Hanzo said. It wasn't a question; there was no question about it.

"Yeah." Jesse replied.

Hanzo burst into tears.

"Oh, Christ. Fuck." Jesse swore as Hanzo pivoted a hundred and eighty degrees and buried his face in his hands. 

"Do you still want me to go?" Jesse asked stupidly. 

Hanzo sobbed something in Japanese and sunk to the dirt. His shoulders shook violently. Jesse had seen a lot in his eighteen years of being alive, but this experience was one of the most remarkable.

But as panic provoking as they were, the sound of Hanzo's cries pushed into Jesse's chest and broke his heart. Jesse might have not known much about Hanzo or the nuances of Japanese mannerisms, but he knew the sound of bone-deep pain when he heard it. 

Jesse took a step forwards and tried desperately to not start hyperventilating as he sat down next to Hanzo. 

"Is this alright?" Jesse shakily pushed. "You need anything?"

" _Few English._ " Hanzo sobbed.

"Habla Espanol?" 

" _No_."

Well, those were the only two languages Jesse knew. 

Jesse reached a hand out as tentatively as he could manage towards Hanzo's shoulder. Hanzo batted it away before it could even come close.

" _Leave_." Hanzo ordered through sobs, shoving Jesse's torso with one hand as he kept the other over his face.

"Alright." Jesse replied. He sprung to his feet.

He was a little hurt, but he'd get over it.

" _Chigau. Chigau_." Hanzo cried out, grabbing at Jesse's jacket. " _No leave_."

"Alright, I'll stay. Make up your goddamn mind."

Jesse sat back down. He reached again for Hanzo's shoulder, but before his hand could arrive, he was hit in the chest by sobbing mess. 

"Whoa!" Jesse exclaimed, both mentally and physically astounded.

Eyes wide, Jesse did his best to keep them both upright, but Hanzo was heavier than anticipated. Jesse managed to twist them so that his back caught against the wall, Hanzo ended up in a tight little ball against Jesse's torso.

Stifling back a fit of crazed, nervous laughter, Jesse wrapped his arms around Hanzo's convulsing shoulders and placed his chin over Hanzo's heated forehead. Hanzo cried boiling tears deep into the fabric of Jesse's shirt. Through his sobs and chokes and newfound hiccups, he monologued long and fast.

"... _watashi wa nani o subeki ka wakaranai_..."

"Sounds hard." Jesse said as Hanzo sucked in a breath like he'd just resurfaced from having been underwater for a minute and a half.

"... _kowaidesu. Watashi no otōto wa korosa reru tsumoridesu, kare ga yawaraka sugirunaraba_..."

"That's rough."

"... _kowaidesu_..."

"It'll work out." 

Jesse couldn't help but chuckle helplessly at himself.

Tucked into his chest, Hanzo's cries continued wordlessly. They wavered after a mere few minutes, and let completely after a quarter of an hour. Jesse didn't loosen his arms. His nerves started to wain, and he found Hanzo was lovely to hold, warm and soft, his hair tickling under Jesse's chin. Jesse would have happily fallen asleep, had Hanzo not eventually pulled away.

Hanzo positioned himself with his back to the wall, to Jesse's left. Jesse turned and brushed away a few remaining tears from Hanzo's face with the bandanna. Hanzo didn't even flinch, just sat and frowned and stared at nothing.

Jesse couldn't help but be a little annoyed that Hanzo still looked beautiful covered in salt tracks and dirt.

"My name's McCree." said Jesse, throwing several rules out the window. 

"Huh?"

Jesse pointed at Hanzo.

"Hanzo Shimada." he said, and then he pointed at himself and followed with--

"Jesse McCree."

"Oh." Hanzo replied, and then he went back to looking absolutely miserable. 

A moment of silence passed. 

"You gonna be alright?" Jesse asked. "Is someone hurting you?"

Hanzo just stared. Jesse took Hanzo's arm and examined it for marks. He found none.

Jesse let his body relax, and Hanzo did the same. Neither of them made any attempt to move. It didn't feel awkward, or at least not quite, but Jesse felt uncertainty bubbling under his every breath.

"Sorry." Hanzo finally said.

"Hmm? For what?"

Hanzo traced his cheek, and Jesse recognized it as a mime of a tear falling.

"You don't gotta be sorry," Jesse said, reaching over to quickly squeeze Hanzo's shoulder. "I wanted to get to meet you anyway." 

Another moment of silence passed. Hanzo looked a little less miserable.

"Why...come?" asked Hanzo slowly, presumably struggling to find the words. "Why stay?"

Jesse thought for a second, trying to figure out how the hell he was going to explain his motives without words. An idea came to mind.

Jesse conveyed the message with several hand gestures. First, he tapped on his ear. Then he pointed at Hanzo and repeated the mime of tears with his own hand. Next, he pointed back to himself. He then put both his hands over the mid-left section of his chest, and made a pained face.

' _I heard you crying and it broke my heart._ ' Jesse thought.

Hanzo looked down, and the corner of his mouth softened.

"Muc-kree?" Hanzo tried, and Jesse realized that Hanzo was giving a go at his name.

"Call me Jesse. Jess-ee."

"Jesse."

"There, you got it." Jesse nodded. He liked the way Hanzo said his name.

Hanzo burned a hole in the wall in front of them with his eyes. Jesse joined him, staring at the grey stone, wondering how he had gotten here, hoping that Hanzo would be alright. They sat for a while, in silence. Jesse wasn't quite sure how much time passed, and the last of the panic he'd felt slipped away into contentedness and comfortability. 

A drop of rain hit Jesse in the nose. Another quickly followed, and then another, and then it became a whole thing. They soaked into Jesse's clothing, replacing the drops that Hanzo had shed. Jesse reached into his bag and pulled out his serape.

The rain grew heavier. Hanzo didn't seem to mind it, but when the wind began to blow, he shivered. Jesse felt the chill, too, but he wasn't the one who had just been sobbing his heart out in the dirt, so he stripped the serape from his shoulders and tossed it to Hanzo, eyes still glued forwards.

Hanzo stared for a moment before wrapping himself in it. It didn't suit him.

More minutes passed. Jesse became tempted again to start an interaction with Hanzo, but before he could speculate how to or over what, a gong sounded. Hanzo flinched, and then got to his feet.

"Guess that means you hafta go, don't it?" Jesse asked as Hanzo scrambled to adjust his clothing and brushed the dirt from the white parts.

Hanzo turned to Jesse, brought his hands together, and tilted forward into a bow.

"Thank you." Hanzo said.

He handed Jesse the serape back, stepped away, and neared in towards where they had entered the bushes. Jesse grabbed his shoulder before he could bolt off.

"Wait." said Jesse. 

Hanzo stared. Jesse stared back, trying to piece together what he should say.

"Do you wanna, I dunno, hang out sometime or somethin'?" Jesse asked, cringing a little at himself.

Hanzo said nothing. Jesse hadn't expected him to be able to answer.

Struck with an idea, Jesse pulled out his phone and brought up fucking Google Translate. He typed 'tonight' into the box, and set the translation to Japanese.

"Kon--uh--Konban?" Jesse read, and then he pointed at Hanzo, himself, and the ground. He wasn't sure if if was appropriate to ask a Yakuza heir on a play-date, but Jesse was already going to hell anyway.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked.

"Got nothin' else to do." Jesse answered, shrugging heavily. 

Hanzo's eyes widened with amusement. Jesse doubted Hanzo had understood the words he'd said, but suspected he'd gotten the drift.

"And I..." Jesse followed. "I like you."

"Konban. Kyū?" Hanzo asked, and he held up all of his fingers but one thumb. Jesse held up his wrist and tapped it, and Hanzo nodded.

"Gotcha." Jesse said. "Nine."

After that, Hanzo bolted off. He didn't even bother with the wooden beams, just scurried up the steep rock of the wall back to the land. Jesse stared, mesmerized by the feat of athleticism. Must have been why he and his brother wore those boots, to climb. 

Jesse waited for a while before exiting the bushes.

 

~~~~

 

The daylight passed. They ended up not meeting with Sojiro at the appointed time, after all. An hour before the event was supposed to transpire, the woman with the bun, Mrs. Shimada, showed up to inform them that Sojiro had an emergency and was going to be out of town for the next three days. In apology, she offered them food rations, keys to the guest bathhouse, and enough alcohol to kill a donkey in apology, but Jesse had stayed sober for a variety of reasons.

She had also offered to house them in the extra bedrooms so that they didn't have to deal with the cold Eastern nights, but Marco had said " _Nah, we like camping out under the stars._ ", and she had been on her way. Marco was then swiftly hit with every sucker punch and pair of dirty underwear Deadlock had to offer.  

Jesse was still set to meet Hanzo at nine. At 8:55 pm, he finished his self-appointed task of fixing the portable grill top that Jose had assembled upside-down. He grabbed a bag of marshmallows and waved goodbye to his drunken collegues.

"Where you goin'?" asked Squeezebox.

"I'm gonna go take a dump." Jesse lied.

"No he ain't." Jose said from his position, face down on the ground. "He's sneakin' out to go rub one off."

"I can sneak out to do two things."

"At the same time?"

"Multitasking."

"Asqueroso, senor." Marco said, scooping directly from the only peanut butter jar with his dirty finger.

Jesse set off on his way. It was his first time traveling through the Shimada property in the dark. It wasn't too different, as the natural moonlight mixed with the little lanterns adorning the place. As he made his way, he tried hard not to get his hopes up. There was no promise that Hanzo was actually going to be there; something could have come up, Hanzo could have forgotten, or they could of had a miscommunication. Still, Jesse couldn't help but walk with a bit of a skip.

He climbed down the wooden beams, once again scraping his shins. He neared in on the spot under the trees that they had been at earlier. To his delight, he found Hanzo already underneath them, looking lovely in the dwindling sunlight. Jesse took off his hat.

"Konichiwa." Jesse greeted, showing off the one Japenese word he knew.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking out into a mutual little snicker.

Next to Hanzo was a little backpack. Jesse watched as Hanzo reached inside and pulled out a few sheets of paper, a thin book, a pen, a match, and a candle. He lit the candle with the match, and positioned the paper across the thin book and began to draw.

Jesse watched as the pen moved. First, Hanzo drew two tiny stick figures, side by side. He gave one of them long hair, and the other spikes and a headband. 

"Watashi." Hanzo said, pointing to the one with longer hair. "Hanzo."

Jesse nodded in confirmation.

"Genji." Hanzo followed, pointing at the other figure. "Watashi no otouto."

"No." said Jesse, pointing to the doodle of Genji. "Naruto."

After a moment of confusion, Hanzo covered his mouth and burst out laughing. The sound was low and wonderful, and Jesse's heart sung. 

Hanzo drew a little 'V' above himself and Genji, and penned in two more figures, one with a bun and the other with glasses. Jesse made the connection.

"Sojiro?" Jesse asked, pointing at the one with glasses.

"Shimada Sojiro." 

On a new sheet of paper, Hanzo drew a little two panel comic. On the first, he redrew his parents likenesses and turned then towards a head-banded smaller figure, both pointing demandingly to the left towards a sword. On the second panel, the smaller figure disregarded the order in favor of going left towards the 16-Bit Hero logo.

"So your brother sneaks off to the arcade 'stead a' doing family business?" Jesse clarified. "Can't say I blame him."

Hanzo drew one more figure into the drawing; a long haired boy crying. 

"Why?" Jesse asked, pointing at the boy's tears. He didn't understand why his brother wanting to slack off was so upsetting.

"Kono." Hanzo replied, and he started to draw a third panel. This time, the two parent figures were driving a sword through Genji's heart.

"Oh..." Jesse mumbled, suddenly feeling both awkward and like maybe he hadn't had the worst home life after all.

Hanzo handed Jesse the pen and a fresh sheet of paper, backed with the thin book. Jesse eyed the paper uncertainly. Hanzo gave him a look and made a drawing motion, and Jesse realized he was being asked to reciprocate. 

Hanzo watched over his shoulder as Jesse started with three stick figures, the smallest of them decked out in a stetson. 

"Me." Jesse said, pointing to the one with the hat. "Jesse."

He then drew a 'V', connecting the previous figures of him and his siblings with two more; a man and a woman. He gave the woman long hair, and he drew the man with X-ed out eyes, crossed arms, and layed down in a sideways position to indicate death. Then, he scribbled excessively over the dead man to indicate disdain.

"Why?" asked Hanzo, head cocked. Just a short moment after the word had escaped his lips, he widened his eyes apologetically.

"Sorry." Hanzo followed, giving Jesse a tiny bow.

"Nah, it's fine." Jesse replied, shrugging in a way that he hoped showed he didn't care. He wasn't sure if Hanzo was asking why his father was dead or why he was not well remembered, so Jesse drew a little two panel comic of his dad abusing his mother and then drinking himself to death.

"Oh..." Hanzo mumbled.

"I'm alright now." said Jesse, shrugging again. "It was a long time ago."

Hanzo glanced back down at the paper. He pointing to the figures of Jesse's parents with a questioning look.

"Karera no shusshin wa dokodesu ka?" he asked.

Jesse stared. Hanzo sighed and pulled out his phone. He tapped a few buttons, and a world map displayed on the screen. Then, he pointed at the drawing of his family, and zoomed into Japan on the map. He pointed at Jesse, and then zoomed in on America. He then handed Jesse his phone, and pointed back towards Jesse's parents.

"Oh, you wanna know where they're from?" Jesse asked, remembering that America wasn't known for its generational families. "My folks are both from the states, but if you let me draw my..."

Jesse went back to the drawling of his family and penned in two more 'V's, adding four more figures to represent both his sets of grandparents.

"On my dad's side, both his parents are from Ireland. They came there when--well, never mind." Jesse started, pointing to the two figured above his father and then zooming in on where he thought Ireland was.

Hanzo made a noise of clarification.

"On my mom's side, my grandfather was from Italy and my grandmother was from Mexico." Jesse continued, pointing at figures and zooming in on the map at appropriate times.

"Ah." said Hanzo, his lips parted in a little surprised smile.

Jesse didn't get why Hanzo seemed to think it was so cool, but he wasn't going to complain about Hanzo finding something about him interesting. 

Hanzo grabbed the paper from Jesse and doodled a little horse, and then a question mark. Jesse grinned and took the paper back.

"Yeah, we got horses. We break 'em and sell 'em. Or, at least, we used to, when I was still, uh, forget it." Jesse explained as he drew a comic of a pack of wild horses, an arrow, and then the same horses, now tamed beasts.

Hanzo stared, and Jesse suddenly felt self-conscious. He remembered he was a farm dweller, a muddy cow poke, and although Jesse didn't think there was anything wrong with that, he worried to imagine what Hanzo would think, with his fine silk clothing and aristocratic sensibilities.

But Hanzo simply pointed at the transitioning arrow from where the horses went from wild to tamed. He penned in another question mark.

"You wanna know how we do it?" Jesse asked in empty clarification.

Hanzo blinked twice. 

"Alright." Jesse followed, reaching for the paper.

Hanzo pulled it out from Jesse's grip. Jesse reached again, confused, but Hanzo then put the paper away and didn't take out a new one, just sat there eyeing Jesse like he was expecting something.

Having no idea what Hanzo was doing, Jesse made a questioning noise. Hanzo gave him a sort of evil grin, pointed to Jesse's feet and then ground in front of them, and then made a face and gesture like he was Shakespearean actor.

' _Act it out_.' Jesse realized.

"No." Jesse said, one hundred percent sure that Hanzo was trying to get him to do yokel role play for a cheap laugh.

Hanzo pouted through his smile.

Jesse grumbled but got up and found a nearby boulder to straddle. He tried to take his hat off, but Hanzo got up and put it back on his head.

"So first you gotta get on, and kick her a little." Jesse started, digging his spurs into the rock as Hanzo watched attentively, already regretting this decision. "Then you assess how she's takin' it. Usually it's a little bumpy, so you..."

Jesse made the appropriate movements with his hands as he seized the "reins" and steadied his steed. He put his foot up and pulled back.

"An' then you yell, _Whoa!_ " he said. " _Slow down there, girl!_  Like she can hear you or somethin'."

Hanzo was absolutely delighted. Jesse was well aware he was being deeply mocked, but he embraced it with the pride that he could at least make the kid laugh who, in Jesse's time spend spying, had never so much cracked a smile for anyone else.

"And then you kick her some more...and..." Jesse finished, slowing down, "then finally, she's broken, having given up her free will in favor a' being a well-fed indentured servant."

Jesse got off the rock and returned to Hanzo. Hanzo got out his phone, typed something into it, and then thrust it in Jesse's face. Even in another language, Jesse recognized the Google Translate app once again. Jesse looked to the English translation box. It read, verbatim--

 _"Do you are stupid_?" Jesse cited. "Hey! I ain't stupid."

Hanzo giggled, and then gave Jesse a look that read like ' _What are you going to do about it?'_

Unable to think of a better retaliation, Jesse shoved Hanzo lightly in the shoulder with a melodramatic frown. Hanzo snickered and shoved him back, significantly harder. So Jesse did what was natural; he tried to wrestle Hanzo.

He lost, very, very quickly. Hanzo had him flat on his back in under three seconds, and his hat jutted awkwardly over his eyes. Jesse tossed it to the side to see Hanzo offering him a hand up, but Jesse got up himself.

"You wanna go?" Jesse asked, getting into a loose sparing stance with a little grin and eyebrow wag. Hanzo shrugged and nodded, and then eyed him like he was prey. Jesse lunged forwards.

He was flat on his back again less than a second later. Hanzo offered another hand, and Jesse batted it away before getting to his feet and back into his stance.

Jesse thought. Hanzo had obviously used Jesse's forward momentum against him last time. So this time, Jesse waited for Hanzo to make the first move. Hanzo chuckled. There was a flash of hands and feet and then suddenly, Jesse was on the ground again. Hanzo raised an eyebrow as Jesse got up and into his stance a third time, but Jesse didn't falter. His back could take the hit, but his pride couldn't.

"That all you got?" Jesse asked.

Also, it wasn't like he minded Hanzo's hands on him.

The cycle continued for a while, Jesse eating dirt five additional times until finally, Hanzo grew tired of Jesse being an idiot and taught him a simple take down. Jesse got Hanzo on his back and there was a mutual moment of pride even though Hanzo had just been standing there, barely resisting. Jesse reached his hand out, and Hanzo took it.

"I don't really get into a lot a' fist fights." Jesse said, miming his words as efficiently as he could without looking like too much of an idiot. "Usually just comes down to..."

Jesse patted his pistol. Hanzo pointed to it and make a noise of question, so Jesse took it out and handed it to him, making sure the safety was on. He knew it wasn't a great idea to hand someone else his gun, but if Hanzo wanted to kill him, Jesse heavily suspected he would no longer be alive.

Hanzo eyed the gun, and then eyed Jesse. He jutted it upwards and out like a western caricature, and then made another questioning noise before handing Jesse the gun back.

"Oh, yeah, we do quick draws. More like this, though." Jesse said, demonstrating a proper draw, faster and more practical. He knew he was good at it from his, well, success rate, but he suddenly needed Hanzo to know, not wanting his reputation to just be the guy who rode a rock and then lost ten sparing matches in a row.

"Here, let me show you somethin'." Jesse followed, sitting down and encouraging Hanzo to follow suit. He positioned himself so that there was only two feet of space between the tips of their folded knees, and then stripped off his jacket and laid it out between the both of them. He reached for the marshmallows he'd brought, and placed one on the center of the jacket. Hanzo made a confused noise as Jesse grabbed his hands and positioned them a few inches on either vertical side of the marshmallow.

"Ok." Jesse explained, bringing his left hand up. "I'm gonna count down from three, and then we're both gonna lunge for it."

Jesse gave an example count down on his fingers and then made a mock lunge. Hanzo nodded, and kept his hands in place, eyebrow raised.

"Three...two...one...go!"

Once all of Jesse's fingers were down, they both grabbed for the candy. Hanzo simply clapped his hands together, playing to his tactical advantage. He looked down at his fingers, only to look down to realize nothing was in them.

"Better luck next time." Jesse said, popping the candy into his mouth with a grin.

"Watashi ni kazoe sasete." Hanzo replied, comically irritated. Hanzo reached for the marshmallow bag, and placed another between them, a little closer to himself.

"You want a rematch? Alright."

"Watashi." Hanzo replied, pointing at his own fingers, and then Jesse understood. He wanted to count.

Jesse shrugged and nodded.

Hanzo positioned his right hand an inch from the marshmallow while Jesse pulled both of his back all the way to his own lap. Hanzo counted down on his fingers, and they both jumped for it.

"It's all the in wrist." said Jesse, munching on his second treat.

After that, Hanzo made them play a few more rounds, losing every time to his own hilarious aggravation. Even when Jesse started scooting farther back, he still ended up with the marshmallow. Finally, instead of placing yet another marshmallow in the center, Hanzo simply pushed Jesse over and sat on him. Jesse took that as a win.

" _Oof_." Jesse breathed, his lungs restricted. Hanzo's way of subduing him was so ridiculous that Jesse couldn't help but laugh, even considering how painful it was to do so. Hanzo stayed seated on his chest, and Jesse pretended to be less pleased with the arrangement than he actually was.

Eventually, Hanzo got off of him and sat against the wall. Jesse followed suit. 

They sat there for the better part of an hour, asking and answering questions as best they could. Jesse struggled not to choke on his marshmallow as Hanzo tipped their shoulders together.

Jesse was unsure how to read the gesture, as he was unclear if the contact was uncommon in Japan between males friends. He pressed himself the tiniest bit into Hanzo to let him know he was alright with the contact, and they both fell silent. Jesse was content.

"Thank you." Hanzo said. 

"No, thank you." Jesse retaliated, unsure why he was the one being thanked.

To Jesse's dismay, another gong sounded just a few moments later. Five minutes to eleven. It was funny to think that a young adult in the Yakuza had a curfew, although Jesse suspected it was because Sojiro wanted to know where his children were at every hour of the day.

Hanzo gathered his things, but he didn't run off. Neither did Jesse. He stood, uncertain, wanting to ask Hanzo to meet him again tomorrow but not wanting to be the one to ask two times in a row. But then he realized that Hanzo looked just as uncertain and that pride was stupid and dumb. So Jesse took out his phone, and Hanzo eyed him expectantly.

"Ashita?" Jesse asked, reading from his screen.

Hanzo nodded. He flashed all his fingers, and then pointed to just East of the center of the sky. Jesse caught on quickly.

"Ten in the morning?" said Jesse, flashing his own fingers. "Sounds good." 

Hanzo nodded and was off with a flash of orange, black, and white. Jesse watched him climb.

 

~~~~

 

The next morning, Jesse watched from behind the wooden staircase as Hanzo wrapped up the morning training session he'd been attending. After a communal bow, one of the boys said something, and everyone laughed, save for Hanzo and Mrs. Shimada.

The group dissipated again, each person going off on their own way. Hanzo lagged behind. The girl who had beat him once at swords a few days ago asked him a question and pointed to a group that was leaving in direction of where Jesse suspected they ate. Jesse didn't need to understand the words to comprehend Hanzo's firmly polite rejection of the idea, a rejection that ended in a little bow which seemed overly formal even for these people. The girl shrugged and returned to her friends, not looking particularly surprised.

Hanzo met him at the staircase, but to Jesse's surprise, they didn't go down to the moat. Instead, Hanzo led him down a curvy path, attentively pulling them behind trees when the situation called for stealth. Eventually, they came to a spot in the wall clouded by trees, and Hanzo lifted a branch that revealed a small part of the manor's shell that had been chipped away, creating a hole worthy of sneaking out through.

They popped out into some bushes, a vacant street awaiting them. Hanzo had Jesse stay put as he shot out of view, leaving Jesse to wonder what the hell was going on. A minute later, a car horn beeped, and Jesse poked his head out of the bushes to see a fancy, sleek blue Nissan.

Jesse left the bushes and walked to the left side door only to find it to be the driver's side because apparently the Japanese accidentally made cars wrong. So Jesse got in on the right side, mildly uncomfortable with the situation, and only more so when he realized that everyone here drove on the wrong side of the road.

He got over it in a minute or two.  

They drove for maybe a quarter of an hour. Along the way, Jesse found that two people didn't need to speak the same language to bicker about who got the aux chord, and that Hanzo didn't need words to disapprove of his killer air guitar solo. He also found, upon searching the glove compartment, that Hanzo possessed a Nambu pistol, and several notebooks and textbooks dedicated to mathematics.

Hanzo turned towards the water. They pulled into a little sandy, vacant parking lot. Just overhead, Jesse could see the beach, grey and empty. Hanzo hopped out of the car, and Jesse followed. He was pulled down a tiny path to the waterfront by the wrist.

It was less of a picturesque beach and more a place where the ocean met the land. There was sand, but it looked rough and large rocks erupted up from under the shoreline. The water was a murky grey, matching the clouds, rather than the crystal turquoise. There was no lush plant life, only some yellowed grass and bushes. And, judging by the cold air and lack of sun, it was clearly not the conventional time of year to go on a beach trip. Despite this, Jesse had no reservations about following Hanzo, partly because he didn't care where they were, partly because Hanzo's hand was warm on his wrist, but mostly because the grey sky had failed to bring in other people, providing them a sense of privacy.

Hanzo took Jesse down to a strip of large rocks. The tide pools were impressive. Between the two of them, they caught dozens of box crabs and gradually placed them in the same small pool, causing immense amounts of crab drama. Jesse wasn't sure if he was the only witnessing the rise and fall of an empire by way of the elder crabs' leadership crumbling to infighting as the population rose too quickly for them to handle, at least not until Hanzo handed him a doodle of exactly that, complete with cartoon crabs clearly of various social statuses. Jesse shook his head and laughed so hard that he almost fell off the rock.

The wind tugged a strand of Hanzo's hair into his eyes.

Jesse stared. After a few moments, Hanzo realized he was being eyed, and softened his face into a small, good-natured smile.

"You're real cute." Jesse said, suddenly needing to gush.

Hanzo didn't even blink an eye.

"You ain't got any idea how adorable you are, do you?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo gave him a questioning look. Jesse felt a rush as he suddenly decided he needed to communicate to Hanzo that he was adorable. It felt like a risk, but Jesse was young enough to justify his own recklessness.

"You are..." Jesse started, reaching out towards Hanzo's face, "so cute."

He finished with a tap on Hanzo's proud nose.

Hanzo's face twisted in surprise, and for a short second, Jesse wondered if he was going to get a sword in his back. But instead, Hanzo let out a sort of sheepish giggle and plucked Jesse's hat from his head.

"Hey now!" Jesse cried, grabbing back for it. But Hanzo tilted it out of reach, and then placed it on his own head.

Hanzo grinned. He began to speak, but it didn't sound like Japanese.

"Pelateable chockde un letter afterwids." Hanzo babbled through his smile. "I parsens solta rongan wolder corvish a fer me a bottom of jarp botapass."

Jesse listened with confusion, trying to piece together what language Hanzo was speaking, if any, when it dawned on him.

"Is that what you think I sound like?" Jesse asked.

" _Is that what you think I sound like?"_ Hanzo imitated, and for the first time ever, Jesse heard what a southern drawl sounded like mixed with a Japanese accent.

Jesse pushed the hat over Hanzo's eyes and Hanzo snickered with glee, apparently having the time of his life.

Hanzo caught his breath, and Jesse couldn't help but smile. Suddenly, Hanzo stripped of a little silk tie around his waist and wrapped it around Jesse's. Jesse blinked uncertainty as Hanzo looked at him expectantly, before realizing that he was being asked to return the impression.

"No." Jesse protested. "I couldn't."

But Hanzo kept staring. Jesse gulped, unsure of how to explain the social complexities of his hesitation to imitate Hanzo's accent and language. But then suddenly, Jesse got an idea.

So Jesse turned up his nose and _hhmphed_ like he was better than the pope. Hanzo was immediately appalled, but Jesse continued his charade, pushing Hanzo's head aside dismissively.

"I'm the best." Jesse said, getting to his feet and deepening his voice.

He puffed out his chest and held an imaginary sword.

"I'm Hanzo Shimada." he mockingly boasted. "And despite the rod up my ass, I can commit acts of physicality and look so good doing it that i'll make all the other kids feel inadequate."

Hanzo gave a little pout.

"And I'm the heir of a massive oligarchical power-- _ow!"_

Jesse's hat was thrown at his face. Jesse put it back on and sat down with a huff. Hanzo seemed amused. Jesse had a suspicion he was being flirted with, but what did he know?

A fat drop of rain hit Jesse square in the head. Jesse was far from surprised, given the expression of the sky. He turned to Hanzo to gauge his reaction, if he wanted to go back to the car, but nearly jumped back as he saw the look of heavy amusement in Hanzo's eyes.

Hanzo turned towards the sky as more droplets began to dive. The space between them picked up quickly, faster than it had yesterday morning at the Shimada manor. Hanzo's eyes were turned towards the sky, and when thunder bloomed, he grinned.

Jesse watched in amazement as Hanzo got up and moved closer towards the water. He stopped just a few feet from the shore. Overhead, the sky cried with rain and screamed out a bolt of lighting, striking far away in the ocean with a flash. Jesse counted five seconds before a fresh round of thunder rolled in. A few feet in front of him, Hanzo raised his arms as the rain only intensified. Jesse couldn't see his face, but he could hear Hanzo's deep, booming laughter mixing with the noises of the sky. Jesse's mouth came undone at the sight.

Hanzo Shimada was an absolute madman. 

Lighting struck again, this time about a mile to their left. Hanzo might have been insane, but as soon as it stuck, he turned on his heels and booked it, reaching out to pull Jesse along. The car came into view, and Jesse was glad Hanzo was a little in front of him, else he likely would have tried to enter the wrong side again.

They climbed into the car, covered with rain and sand. Hanzo was still grinning, with electric eyes as he turned on the ignition and drove them inland. 

They stopped to park once again after maybe a half mile, this time alongside an empty suburban road. Jesse, having expected to go somewhere further, eyed Hanzo with surprise. But then Hanzo stripped off his soaking jacket and it became apparent that they had just stopped to warm up. Now that Jesse thought about it, he was freezing. 

Hanzo crawled into the backseat, giving Jesse a painfully good view of his butt while he did. Jesse joined him in the back, the passenger seat not really even having enough room to ever take off his shoes.

He stripped down to his undershirt. Hanzo changed his top, and Jesse looked away. He wished he'd brought a change of pants, but at least he had his serape. He wrapped it around his shoulders, but opened it when Hanzo eyed him with longing eyes and chattering teeth. He cocooned them both together, mixing their heat.

"Do you ever think of the of the fact that if you look at things historically, the last sensation most humans experienced before they died was horrible, agonizing pain?" Jesse asked, trying desperately to not get an erection.

Hanzo replied in Japanese. And then it became a thing. Jesse would say something in English, and Hanzo would reply in Japanese. Like a conversation, but with even less mutual comprehension than usual.

"...so anyway," Jesse babbled aimlessly, "I ain't saying I'm a genius or nothin', but I can't believe how goddamn stupid my dumb gang is. I'm not even sure how Marco gets his pants on in the morning."

"私の両親はセックスを2回しかしていない."

"We're in way over our heads. Squeezebox wants to take us international, upgrade us to some hoverbikes, but I'm just gonna say that the fact we haven't been shut down by the New Mexican police force makes me kinda question the integrity of our judicial system. Seriously, all it takes is a little extortion and they're off our backs."

"彼らは決してキスしない."

"Goddamn bureaucrats." Jesse said.

Jesse didn't know what bureaucracy was yet, but he knew he didn't like it.

Hanzo's watch beeped. He groaned loudly and lazily peeled himself from Jesse's side. Suddenly, everything was a lot colder. Jesse watched as Hanzo crawled back into the drivers seat.

Jesse immediately regretted his decision.

"Just a minute." Jesse said, putting his chaps, jacket, and shoes back on as slowly as possible.

Head full of images of a nuclear holocaust, Jesse climbed into the passenger seat. Hanzo started the car and to Jesse's delight, turned on the seat warmers. Jesse tried not to groan as he appreciated one of the finer things in life.

After that, they returned to the manor, and snuck back onto the property. 

"Konben?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo grinned and nodded.

 

~~~~

 

The next day and a half was a blur of black hair and dark brown eyes.

He and Hanzo had developed a solid friendship, spending Hanzo's limited free time together, usually right before lunch and nighttime. Sometimes they went out, but usually they stayed tucked away in the corner of the moat, under the trees.

Jesse liked Hanzo more and more every second they spent together. Even without words, Jesse could see the intelligence behind Hanzo's sharp eyes, be it from a brain that was not being handled properly by parental forces. Hanzo had a personality, too; an almost childlike curiosity that shone through his pride, a sharp, dark sense of humor, and a love of insults.

He got the feeling he was the only one who really got to see it. Jesse tried not to let the thought fill him with too much pride.

Jesse learned that Hanzo was nineteen years old. That he was going to college in the fall to double major in business, archery, and per his request, minor in calculus, all while still working for his father. The thought alone made Jesse physically overwhelmed, but not even half as much so when he found out just  _how much_ Hanzo was going to inherit. Catering to Hanzo's love of disparagement, Jesse doodled Hanzo as a tyrant, corrupted by his own thirst for power. Hanzo retaliated with a sketch of Jesse as a peasant, dying of famine and also on fire.

When he wasn't spending his hours with a gorgeous Japanese heir, Jesse spent his time tripping over rocks thinking about a gorgeous Japanese heir. 

Sometimes, he thought about stealing Hanzo away, them both stealing away to move across the world together where they could live free from violence. He thought about the two of them learning each other's languages so that he could appreciate the full extent of Hanzo's wit. And when he closed his eyes, he thought about Hanzo's sharp face; his aristocratic cheekbones, the attentive and expressive eyes that lit up when he understood something and widened when he needed more clarification, and when they saw Jesse, brightened. He thought about Hanzo's mouth; soft and and begging to be kissed, or so Jesse hoped. And finally, when everyone else was asleep and he felt particularly hidden, Jesse thought of Hanzo's face flushed and lips parted, of his body stripped from the silk and cotton, of what it would feel like to grab his naked waist and thighs. He wondered briefly if Hanzo also touched himself before he went to bed, or if he considered it too dirty an act.

He also wondered about Hanzo's sexuality. Statically speaking, there was a mid to low likelihood Hanzo was gay or bisexual, but Jesse couldn't help but to feel some hope, from the way Hanzo stared and laughed and cuddled up to him the second it got cold.  

But behind Jesse's colorful fantasies, he knew there was dark at the end of the tunnel; a dreaded time limit. Jesse's heart sunk to remember that their time would be cut short, and sunk further to think what would happen to Hanzo. Jesse wasn't an idiot, he knew there were no happy endings in the Yakuza.

The meeting with Sojiro was set to transpire tomorrow. Jesse set out to meet Hanzo, all intentions to make the most of the remaining time they had. 

Jesse ended up arriving about ten minutes early, having overestimated how long it would take him to get out of doing the dishes. He found Hanzo and an unrecognized person in the courtyard, sparing with swords. Jesse tucked himself into the spot behind the wooden staircase. Hanzo glanced over, very quickly, as Jesse let his head rise just enough to greet Hanzo.

The unrecognized person with Hanzo was an older woman, maybe fifty, hair tied back and body slender. From the way she spoke to Hanzo as he struck, Jesse felt it safe to assume she was a teacher.

In his over-abundance of free time, Jesse had seen Hanzo cross swords with a handful of people. This time, however, Hanzo was the one spending most of his time on the ground. Minutes passed, and for the first time, Jesse saw Hanzo become reckless with frustration, lashing out with too much force, paying too little attention to his center of gravity. The next time Hanzo fell to the ground, the woman scolded him, although what she said Jesse couldn't be sure.

She helped him to his feet, and then pulled a device from a bag on the ground, something that looked suspiciously like a speaker. Hanzo made a noise of protest, but it seemed ignored. She hit a few buttons on the side of it, and a traditional, Japanese melody began to play. She frowned and pressed another button, and the melody was replaced by a slow composition of a more European sound, full of wind and brass.

Hanzo glanced in Jesse's direction with a sort of uncomfortable frown, and Jesse realized what was going on. She was making him dance.

Jesse popped his head into view just long enough to give a grin and a melodramatic hat tip. Hanzo pouted and looked away, and Jesse slipped back out of sight before he could be seen.

The woman grabbed Hanzo by the hand and led him through a few steps, in time with the music. By the way Hanzo moved with her, he had obviously done this before, despite his reluctance. The beat was slow and smooth, and thus were their movements. Jesse could tell that Hanzo must have incredible balance and coordination to off the long held steps, but, like most dancing, Jesse found it a little boring.

At least he did until a minute in when the music swelled, and Hanzo actually started to move.

Jesse's eyes widened.

Hanzo and his sword teacher moved together with sudden speed and impressive coordination. Like everything else Jesse had seen Hanzo do, Hanzo was good at it, pulling off tricky steps. And when he lept in graceful arcs, timed perfectly with cymbal clashes that rang out like muffled gun shots. 

But what really made Jesse's heart flutter was how Hanzo was so obviously enjoying himself, even through his overdone attempts to hide it. Jesse flashed him an impressed look when he could, and Hanzo scoffed away his smile as he pulled of a perfect spin in tangent with his partner.

Jesse nearly jumped when Sojiro suddenly came in through the front gate, bags in hand, hair disheveled, looking like he had just returned from a long trip. Immediately, he began to yell at Hanzo's teacher in harsh Japanese. 

To Jesse's immense surprise, she yelled back. For a solid minute, they shouted at each other, both occasionally pointing at Hanzo, who looked bored. Eventually, Sojiro waved his hand away, indicating that he had lost whatever argument they had just been having.

Jesse didn't know anything about her, but he suddenly felt an immense respect for Hanzo's sword teacher.

She turned off the music, and handed Hanzo his sword. She picked up her own, and they sparred once more. Hanzo still lost, but only after three straight minutes of keeping atop his feet, his recklessness having diminished. Sojiro looked mildly impressed.

Jesse watched as Hanzo and his teacher bowed to each other. She picked up the two swords and her music device and left, indicating that the lesson was over. Jesse kept his eyes on Sojiro, waiting for him to leave. Instead of leaving, Sojiro tossed Hanzo a duffel bag, and motioned for him to follow before retreating back the way he'd came. Jesse got the feeling their morning plans were going to be canceled.

This feeling was reaffirmed with an apologetic look from Hanzo. Jesse waved it off, and mouthed "nochihodo", a word he had learned from the internet. Hanzo's mouth softened.

Hanzo opened the duffel bag and pulled out what looked like an article of clothing, wrapped in protective cloth. He began to strip off his pants, and--

Jesse turned around and slammed his back against the wall. When he caught his breath, Jesse felt the temptation to take a peak arise, but he pushed it down with his common sense and basic human decency.

A minute passed. Jesse popped back up to see Hanzo in suit pants, fashioning a fitted black and blue vest over a tailored white button down. He looked good, but Jesse didn't like what it implied, especially when Sojiro opened the door and beckoned him inside once more.

Jesse retreated back to Deadlock's camp.

 

~~~~

 

It was about ten in the evening, and Hanzo still hadn't come back yet, at least to Jesse's knowledge. An hour prior, the time they usually met in the evenings, Jesse had checked their spot, to no avail. He couldn't help but feel a little worried, but moreso, he was bored, forced to spend the night with his associates.

He was seated at the edge of a campfire, ready to settle in for the night. He strummed at the guitar over his knee, an excuse to get out of the argument his fellow gang members were having about which position was the most comfortable to shit in.

" _Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam_..." Jose sang alone, in the wrong key. Several dirty socks were thrown at his head until he shut up.

A tiny thud landed at Jesse's feet. He stopped playing, and looked down to see a pebble that he hadn't noticed before. It was probably just a coincidence.

At least he thought until another pebble landed, right on his toe. Jesse looked to the people around him, but none of them were making any indications of having just thrown something or having something been thrown at them, expect for Jose and his dirty socks. So Jesse looked overhead to the bridge that separated the side-yards from the manor, and caught sight of a flash of black hair. Hanzo popped into view, just for a moment, eyeing Jesse from his spot in the darkness.

Hanzo had never sook Jesse out before. Jesse's first reaction was to grin, but his smile faltered as he saw the desperation and tear-tracks streaking Hanzo's face. Hanzo beckoned for him to follow. Jesse stood, the relief with Hanzo's return mixing with newfound worry in regards to Hanzo's deeply concerned expression. 

"I'm gonna dip out for the night, gentlemen." Jesse announced with a mocking bow. Then with less grace than he would've liked, he struggled to find where he had left his jacket, and to put his guitar back in its case.

"McCree's going out to pull himself off again." Squeezebox announced.

"Fuck that." Jose replied. "He probably met a girl."

"No fair. We're here three days and McCree meets a girl?" 

Jesse found his jacket under Marco's butt. Marco lazily scooted over.

"Nah, I didn't meet a girl." said Jesse.

"What do ya'll think of the girls here?" Squeezebox announced.

"Too pale." Marco answered. "Like milk. And I can't get past the eyes."

"Nah, I think they're perfect. Few feet a' black hair, tiny waist, and too quiet to boss you around."

"Hey, don't say that, my Abuela's a lady."

"And she don't boss you around?"

As his gang snickered, Jesse remembered why he had tried to escape them in the first place.

"What kinda girls you like, McCree?" Marco asked.

"I like ladies that remind me a' my mama." Jesse answered, wanting this conversation to be over as quickly as possible. 

There were some noises of confusion, and then some noises of disgust. Socks were thrown.

"Now if ya'll will excuse me." Jesse followed, leaving the camp.

As soon as his feet moved forward, Hanzo slipped out of sight. Jesse took that as a sign to follow, and set out in the direction of their usual spot, flashes of Hanzo falling in and out of his vision.

Jesse climbed down the wood beams and found Hanzo standing next to the trees they usually sat under. He was standing funny, with his hands behind his back like he was hiding something. Stepping forward, Jesse got a better look at Hanzo's pained face.

Hanzo quicky pulled his face to the side, but even so, Jesse saw that beneath the tear tracks sat an expression of a man who had just done something he had not wanted to do.

"Hanzo?" Jesse asked as sympathetically as he could muster.

Hanzo's mouth quivered. He kept his hands out of sight.

"What's in your arms?" asked Jesse, gesturing with his own.

Hanzo looked at his feet and slowly pulled his hands into view.

They were covered in blood. It had soaked halfway up the fabric covering his forearms, and completely coated his palms in red. The undersides of his fingernails were scraped with dark orange lines of dried viscera.

Jesse's brain skipped the anger and went straight to sorrow.

Hanzo stood in miserable uncertainty, and Jesse realized he was waiting for his reaction.

So Jesse softened his gaze, parted his lips, and tipped Hanzo into his chest. Hanzo burst into tears the second his head was resting under Jesse's chin. Hanzo kept his hands tight between both their torsos, and Jesse could tell he wasn't sure what to do with them.

Jesse was far from a paragon. A drop out, a petty thief, and he sure as hell wasn't proud of what Deadlock was dealing. He'd killed before, too. But even so, he couldn't imagine what it was be like to be groomed for the role of killing, and to be parentally forced to do so. It was beyond Jesse's comprehension, but he could imagine that it wouldn't be fun.

Jesse let them both sink to the ground. He cradled Hanzo against his collar bone, just as he'd done but a few days ago, but with less uncertainty. 

He wished he could tell him that it wasn't his fault. Wished, for the hundredth time, that he could take Hanzo away, somewhere neither of them would have to hurt another ever again, where they could just be free; free from deterministic family pressures and violence.

Hanzo's tears soaked though Jesse's shirt, and then through both the bandannas Jesse offered. Jesse pulled out his phone, knowing he needed to say something.

"Waka...um, wakarimashita." Jesse read. Hanzo gripped his shoulders and cried harder.

The sounds of Hanzo's sobs had been heartbreaking enough when he was just a boy who Jesse knew nothing about. But now that Jesse knew Hanzo, knew the utter hopelessness of the situation, Jesse's chest ached deep like he'd been punched. He spilled a few tears of his own, about what Hanzo must have seen, about the likelihood that it wouldn't be the last time. Hanzo wiped his eyes and looked up when Jesse's tears hit his head.

Hanzo reached for Jesse's face. He touched one of Jesse's tears, but then quickly lept back into Jesse's chest as he was overtaken by a fresh round of sobs.

Minutes passed, and then half an hour. Hanzo didn't stop crying. Eventually, both of Jesse's feet fell asleep, so he turned them both on their sides, Hanzo still tucked into his chest. Jesse twisted their legs together and carded his hand through Hanzo's hair.

"How can I help you?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo gave Jesse an uncertain look as if he'd understood the question but didn't know how to answer. He spent about half a minute in thought before he turned his head towards Jesse, his tears finally waning into a tired, empty expression.

"Uta o utau." Hanzo answered.

Jesse stared in confusion, wondering if Hanzo was going to pull up a translation or act it out, when suddenly, Hanzo put up a single finger and bolted off, scurrying up the wall of the moat and disappearing from sight. Jesse took the finger as a sign to 'wait one minute'.

He ended up waiting five, but he didn't mind.

Hanzo came back down the wall, carrying something large across his back, although it was too dark to see what it was until Hanzo got to the ground, climbed under the trees, and handing the object to Jesse.

It was his guitar case.

"You want me to play you something?" Jesse asked, miming the motion. Hanzo nodded. He must have seen where Jesse had put it when he'd come by Deadlock earlier. 

Jesse opened the case and laid the guitar out on his knee. It was a standard, acoustic thing, passed down from his mother. He didn't yet have a lot of songs memorized, just two, so hopefully Hanzo wouldn't be wanting an encore.

Hanzo curled against the wall a foot to Jesse's right and closed his eyes as Jesse began to strum. Jesse hoped he remembered all the words.

" _One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning_ ," Jesse sang, " _down the track came an old man hiking, and he said 'boys I ain't turning..._ "

The melody was simple. Jesse knew he was an alright singer, capable of hitting all the notes and with a timbre that wasn't unpleasant, but he felt anxious showing it to Hanzo, who Jesse worried would have high standards. Hanzo, however, made no complaints, and fell curled with his head against Jesse's unused knee as Jesse wrapped up the first verse.

"... _In the big rock candy mountain, all the cops have wooden legs. And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth, and the hens lay soft boiled eggs..._ "

Hanzo stayed silent and still against Jesse's knee. He could have been asleep, although Jesse doubted it.

" _...I'm gonna stay, where they sleep all day, where they hung the Turk, who invented work, in the big rock candy mountains..._ "

The song drew to a close, Jesse humming the final verse, as he couldn't whistle. Hanzo snuggled further. 

Jesse put the guitar down. He couldn't tell if Hanzo was sleepy or just...tired. Either way, he spread out his serape against for Hanzo to lie on, and joined him, spooning his body close. Hanzo turned around to press his face into Jesse's chest. Jesse let his eyes fall closed, but he didn't sleep.

They stayed like that until the gong rang out. Hanzo had fallen asleep, so Jesse nudged him away and pointed to his watch. He helped Hanzo wipe the salt tracks from his face and clean the blood from his hands. Hanzo pointed apologetically to the wet patch in Jesse's shirt, but Jesse waved it off and ran a final hand through Hanzo's hair. Hanzo's eyes slipped closed for just a few moments, before he bolted away and ran off to climb up the moat and back to bed.

He looked over his shoulder as he did.

 

~~~~ 

 

Jesse didn't get to meet Hanzo the next morning, either, but that was to be expected. Deadlock's meeting with Sojiro was at eleven.

The falling stairs to Sojiro's office made Jesse feel like he was sinking down into hell to meet with the devil without a fiddle. Jesse had been chosen to attend the meeting along with Squeezebox, as the group had unanimously decided that he was the most diplomatic. Jesse supposed he trusted himself more to get the job done without Deadlock getting brutalized, but that didn't mean he wanted to.

Squeezebox opened the door for Jesse. Jesse stepped into the room.

Sojiro's office was smaller than Jesse would have expected from a very wealthy man. It was small and wooden and square, and lacked windows, which made it feel like the inside of a very fancy crate. Traditional Japanese paintings adorned the wall, all in such perfect condition that Jesse feared he would ruin them if he stared too long. A few decorative swords were also present, along side tables and a large one behind Sojiro's desk. Sojiro's desk, a clean, wooden thing, was at the far end of the room, maybe seven feet in front of the door. Sojiro himself sat tall; and proud, and decked out in fancy sunglasses.  He was accompanied by Mrs. Shimada and Hanzo, who was wearing a matching suit and pair of sunglasses to his father. Jesse forced himself to look away, not wanting to tip Sojiro off for everyone's sake.

"Hello." Sojiro greeted. "Guns at the door, please."

Jesse rid himself of his pistol. He felt naked without it.

"Your names?" Sojiro asked.

"McCree." Jesse gave.

"Squeezebox." said Squeezebox. Jesse rubbed his temples.

"No." Sojiro said. "Your real name."

Squeezebox looked like he was going to talk back for a second until Jesse elbowed him in the rib cage.

"...Marion." Squeezebox replied, reluctantly. Jesse eyed him, mildly surprised.

"Glad to meet you, Deadlock. This is my wife." Sojiro announced, pointing to the woman besides him.

Jesse gave an awkward hat tip, knowing that any bow he tried to give would be more offensive. Mrs. Shimada did nothing in response.

"This is one of my sons. My oldest." Sojiro followed, pointing to Hanzo. "I am training him."

' _Yeah, I bet you are_.' Jesse thought.

"He is a good swordsman, the best of my kin. But I worry he is too handsome to be intimidating."

"Oh?" Jesse asked.

"But even so..." Sojiro said, momentarily trailing off as he stood and pulled a chord dangling from the ceiling, "he delivers."

Jesse jumped as a body fell from a compartment from the ceiling. It landed with a clunk against Sojiro's desk, the lifeless face of a young woman turned to stare at Jesse. She was freshly dead, indicated by the lack of a smell, and from the redness of the blood against the shirt of her belly.

Hanzo flinched too. Even under the glasses, Jesse could see the shame.

"This is my last client." Sojiro said, kicking the body. "She met with me yesterday, also to sell me hand guns and recreational drugs."

Had Jesse had his gun and Hanzo not been there, Jesse might have shot Sojiro Shimada through the heart. 

"Did she?" he asked.

"Yes. Only problem is, she tries to traffic me cocaine cut with powdered phenacetin for full price." 

Squeezebox gave Jesse a side-eye.

"Will you give me the sample?" Sojiro asked.

Squeezebox tossed Sojiro a small bag of white powder. Jesse's heart had spent a lot of time pounding over the last half week, but this was the first time the pounding was aggressively unpleasant. 

Sojiro opened the bag. His wife stepped forward. She licked her finger, and plunged it into the bag, picking up a small amount of powder. She brought it to her mouth. Jesse's blood rushed against his ears as she and Sojiro passed a few words that Jesse didn't understand.

"She says it's pure." Sojiro said.

"Alright." Squeezebox replied. He reached to Jesse for a high five. Jesse left him hanging.

Sojiro rubbed his forehead with a haunting little smile. 

"Sometimes sellers will give me a pure sample, but later I will find the product to be less clean." Sojiro continued.

"Alright." Squeezebox repeated.

"So, I will give you one chance to tell me. Is your powder clean?"

Squeezebox and Jesse both opened their mouths. Sojiro cut them off with a hand.

"--Wait." he followed. "Whatever answer you give, I will believe. But if, when I find out that this sample does not match the concentration of what you are selling me, I will not be as hospitable as I have been."

Sojiro kicked the dead woman with his foot. 

"Ms. Phenacetin thought she could run back to America, too." Sojiro said.

Through Sojiro's tiny smile and threats, Jesse noticed the overplay, that Sojiro was trying too hard to give off the image of a psychopath. Jesse took solace in the flaw and his ability to spot it, even though he knew it would do absolutely nothing to save his ass.

"So," Sojiro finished. "Is your powder clean?"

"We don't cut our shit." Squeezebox answered. Jesse almost strangled him.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow.

"We cut it." said Jesse. 

"I figured." Sojiro replied. "What fraction?"

"Half."

"With what?"

"Caffeine." Jesse answered, still truthful.

"Caffeine is harmless. Will not kill buyers, which is preferable. Are you certain it was not something more deadly?"

"Yes."

"Well then. I will offer you half price."

"Three quarters." said Squeezebox. Sojiro ignored him.

"We'll take half." Jesse replied.

Sojiro put the dead body away.

After that, Sojiro tried a few of the firearms and gave them the same spiel, but Jesse wasn't worried, as the firearms were as high quality as promised. Doing business with Sojiro ended up not being that different from doing business with another gang or the mob. In the end, they got half price for the drugs and full for the firearms, giving them more than enough profit for a real vacation. 

Right before Sojiro waved them off, Hanzo drummed his fingers against his legs.

_Nine fingers._

Jesse winked quickly, and then rubbed his eye as if it had only been a tick, in case anyone else was watching.

"Sayōnara, Deadlock." Sojiro said. "When does your ship come?"

"Tomorrow morning." Jesse said, ignoring the pang of sorrow. "Eleven."

"Please do not leave anything behind on my property."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

They left Sojiro's office.

"You're a fucking idiot." Jesse said to Squeezebox.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse met Hanzo in the dark off to the side of the courtyard, right at nine. Hanzo greeted him with a sort of sad smile and a pretty little robe that Jesse would later learn was called a yukata. Jesse greeted Hanzo back with an identical face. He could tell that they were both thinking about the fact that he was leaving tomorrow. But, with Hanzo's hair framing his beautiful eyes and clothing framing his beautiful waist, Jesse decided there were other thing to think about.

They left the manor, once again, heading to Hanzo's car. Jesse whistled as they drove, impressed. He had only caught glimpses of downtown Hanamura at night, but it didn't prepare him for just how beautiful everything was; the lights and architecture were nothing like any cites he'd seen back home. And the  _property value_.

Hanzo didn't drive him very far, just a mile or two, and they ended up in a little ramen shop. Jesse strapped his hat to his back in an attempt to stick out less, but he soon found it was a pointless endeavor.

They came to a ramen shop that didn't seem to be very busy. The owner, a middle-aged man stared at Jesse, but Hanzo said a few words, and his gaze turned uninterested. Jesse suspected Hanzo came here a lot.

They took a seat. Hanzo handed Jesse a menu. Jesse made a show of emptying out his empty pockets to show he had no money, but Hanzo waved it off with a smile. In the end, Jesse pointed to a picture of the least intimidating bowl of ramen, and Hanzo ordered it for him.

Their food came, interrupting the game they'd invented; a more complicated version of Tic Tac Toe on a napkin. Jesse was handed a pair of chopsticks, and Hanzo snickered a little as Jesse's eyes grew wide. He showed Jesse how to use them, and Jesse found the task to be easy enough. He did, however, decide that chopsticks were an objectively inferior invention to the fork.

The ramen was delicious, much better than the instant kind. The sushi, he wasn't so sure about. Jesse wasn't positive that octopus was ever meant to be consumed by respectable homo sapiens, but Hanzo made him try a piece, and nearly snorted as he saw the look on Jesse's face in response to the flavor.

It was very salty. 

Hanzo took the check, and they went on a walk. Eyes were on Jesse at every turn. Hanzo didn't visually seem to mind, although Jesse did notice Hanzo taking him down streets that were less populated.

It was a little overwhelming, but every time Jesse got scared, he just had to look at Hanzo and Hanzo would smiled and everything would suddenly be alright.

Hanzo bought him a soda and a bean cake that were both abundantly pleasant. Jesse wished he could buy Hanzo something. 

They walked to a park, and Hanzo led him down a pretty trail that thankfully gave them some privacy. While they walked, Hanzo, through a variety of gestures, told Jesse the story of the time he'd been practicing climbing, and accidentally spotted his father and a fellow Yakuza boss watching each other masturbate. It was such a deeply horrifying image that Jesse couldn't help but laugh. 

He wondered if it was a date.

Eventually, they had to head back to the car and drive to the castle. Hanzo parked, but didn't get out of the car. Jesse checked the time; it was fifteen minutes to eleven. Hanzo still didn't make any attempt to move, just sat there staring out the window into the empty street.

Jesse made a questioning little noise. Hanzo looked down, and the face covering his sadness slipped off.

"You leave." said Hanzo.

"Tomorrow." Jesse replied.

"Have to?" Hanzo asked, and Jesse could tell he'd been practicing with a few more English words.

Jesse thought about it. Really thought about it, about leaving Deadlock and staying in Hanumura. But he knew it wouldn't work. With no yen and no Japanese, Jesse knew he wouldn't fair well. 

Jesse nodded.

Hanzo's eyes squeezed shut.

"I understand." he said, and a tear slipped through his closed eyelid. It slid down his cheek until it caught on a soft piece of black hair that had fallen in his face.

Jesse's heart melted.

He pulled Hanzo into an embrace. It was a little difficult to do in a car, but they managed. After a tentative moment, Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse's shoulders. Jesse kissed the top of Hanzo's head, enjoying a little too much the feeling of black silk under his mouth.

Hanzo pulled back. Jesse glanced down at Hanzo's lips, and his heart hammered. He was still unsure as to where their friendship stood in Hanzo's eyes, but he recognized that this was probably his last chance to find out. 

And, it wasn't like he hadn't noticed that they were sitting in a parked car. Jesse wasn't stupid.

So he reached his hand out, letting his thumb brush against Hanzo's upper lip. He was met with no resistance. Hanzo didn't move his body at all, just turned his gaze to meet Jesse's eyes. Like he was waiting for something.

"I could spend my whole life lookin' at stars, and I reckon I wouldn't find one half as pretty as you." Jesse mumbled. "Utsukushii."

He'd been practicing that word.

Hanzo's expression softened into something sheepish, but he kept his gaze up. Jesse reached two fingers under Hanzo's chin and kissed him.

Their mouths pressed for a second, at most. Jesse didn't linger, but pulled back, wanting to gauge Hanzo's reaction.

Hanzo stared. Jesse stared back, feeling the spark of Hanzo's pretty mouth still on his lips.

"Oh." Hanzo breathed.

"Yeah." Jesse agreed.

Jesse wasn't sure who moved first, but suddenly, there was a flash of movement and Hanzo waist was flush under his hands and his hat was knocked off and Hanzo's hands were pulling through his hair and Hanzo's lips were parted and moving against his own in a slow, soft slide that had Jesse feeling like electricity was dancing over his skin. Jesse was yanked towards Hanzo's seat, the parking break ending up painfully digging into his stomach as he struggled to get as close as he could to his companion.

"You're--so--beautiful." Jesse mumbled between kisses, in panting breathes of warm air that crashed against Hanzo's mouth.

The gong rang out. They pulled apart, panting, and their eyes met, both pairs of them nearly swallowed by black pupils. Hanzo's lips were red, and his cheeks had darkened to an attractive color. Jesse cursed himself for this not being the first thing he had done.

Hanzo motioned for Jesse to wait, even though Jesse had made no attempt to leave.

"Konban?" Hanzo asked.

 _Tonight_.

Jesse was confused, it already was tonight. Unless Hanzo meant he wanted to meet again, after his curfew.

"How?" asked Jesse. 

Hanzo grabbed him by the arm. Together, they exited the car and snuck back onto the property. Hanzo pulled them behind a tree, and pointed to a structure that Jesse had become aware was the Shimada sleeping quarters.

"Oh, you want me to sneak up there?" Jesse asked, desperately trying to stifle his heart rate. "What time?"

Jesse tapped his wrist.

"Jū ni". Hanzo said. He flashed all of his fingers, and then quickly followed it with only two.

"Midnight." Jesse clarified. "Which one?"

Hanzo stared with uncertainty, having heard that Jesse asked a question but not understood it. Jesse pointed towards the structure Hanzo had singled out and shrugged. Hanzo's face lit up, and he motioned again for Jesse to wait.

Jesse watched as Hanzo scurried away and entered the building. A minute later, a widow came open and Hanzo's upper body popped out of it. He waved quickly before bolting back inside. Jesse counted the rooms to either side of it and wrote them down, having no intention of forgetting.  

Jesse retreated to the bathhouses to take a shower.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse didn't feel quite as nervous going to visit Hanzo Shimada as he had to visit Sojiro, but his stomach twisted with uncertainty, regardless. He'd spent the last hour fiddling with his personal appearance, even going so far as to shave his stubble. Now, he walked up the stairs to Hanzo's room, knowing full well he would likely be executed or at least vasectomized if he got caught.

He turned the corner under a walkway and slammed straight into another person. There was a tiny, mutual yelp.

Jesse's eyes widened as he struggled to find his stance. He scanned the figure he just smashed into, hoping and praying that he could somehow get out of trouble and still make it to Hanzo.

He realized with a start that it was Genji. The green hair gave it away.

"Hello." Genji said, smiling easily as if he hadn't just barreled into an American on his turf who he'd never seen before.

"Um, hey." Jesse replied.

"Where are you going? Deadlock better be staying out of trouble."

"You--you speak English?"

Genji snickered.

"The arcade only has the English version of Persona 6. I know a little."

"Oh, well."

"You did not answer my question."

"Huh?"

"Where are you going?"

"Well--"

"Actually, I don't care. Just, let's make a deal, ok?

"What deal?"

"You won't tell anyone you saw me here, and I won't tell anyone that a Deadlock boy is wandering around where we sleep."

Jesse nodded. Genji walked on.

"Wh--where are you going?" Jesse asked.

"Got a girl waiting for me at the arcade." Genji answered over his shoulder. "By the way, if you want to steal stuff, the good silverware is downstairs."

"No, I'm not--I wouldn't--I'm just bored."

Genji went on his way. Jesse resumed his trek, only mildly more shaken.

When he arrived to the correct floor, Jesse knocked at the door that was two down from the most west side of the row. He heard some fumbling, and then the door quickly opened and closed him in. Jesse slipped his shoes off, not wanting to track in dirt.

Hanzo's room wasn't quite what Jesse had expected. He had thought it would be bigger. Not that it wasn't lovely. Fine art adorned the walls, along with decorative swords, and Hanzo had a glass shelf of trinkets that Jesse could have never afforded let alone kept unbroken. Next to the glass shelf was a large shelf of books. Jesse couldn't read the titles.

Jesse examined further. Hanzo's bed was a low, fancy looking mat, flat to the ground. Like a frameless mattress, although as Jesse heavily suspected, less cheap. A small bathroom with a shower connected to Hanzo's room, and Jesse momentarily resented him for having his own sink until he saw Hanzo and stopped thinking.

Despite the finities, Hanzo was still undeniably the nicest thing in the room. Jesse told Hanzo this, and Hanzo blinked.

Hanzo moved from his spot near the door to a few feet away from Jesse, between him and the little floor mat. He was wearing the same dark robe as before, but his hair was wet, indicating Jesse wasn't the only one who'd showered. He met Jesse's gaze and adjusted the tie of his garment.

"So, uh, what did you want to do?" Jesse asked, wondering if Hanzo had anything specific planned for a goodbye.

Hanzo's robe dropped to the floor. 

"Christ." Jesse said as his cheeks turned pink. He quickly tore his hat off his back and used it to cover the front of his pants, and Hanzo straight up giggled.

"Do you usually, uh, not wear anythin' under that?" Jesse followed.

Jesse flushed further as Hanzo closed the distance between the two of them and pressed their chests together. The hat was removed from its spot against Jesse's pelvis, and Jesse looked down to see that Hanzo was, quite literally, swelling with anticipation.

Utterly helpless, Jesse groaned. He didn't resist as Hanzo undid his jeans, just stroked his hands in amazement at the muscles of Hanzo's back.

"Christ." he repeated, a little higher in pitch. "Were you born, or chiseled?"

The look in Hanzo's eyes was intoxicating, and when it met Jesse's eyes, it was like a plea. For a few moments, Jesse struggled to figure out for what, but then Hanzo's lips parted, and Jesse understood.

He tangled a hand through Hanzo's hair and kissed him, kissed him hard until they were out of breath and flushed and charged like batteries. Hanzo's tongue flickered into Jesse's mouth, and Jesse welcomed the softness, letting it twirl with his own as he desperately ran his hand over Hanzo's upper back and then down to the little cup in Hanzo's waist and then further down to squeeze his perfect ass. It gave Jesse a new sort of satisfaction he'd never experienced before, so all encompassing that he didn't notice he'd backed Hanzo into the mattress until their ankles bumped into it.

Hanzo tugged at Jesse's shirt and the waistband of his boxers. Jesse rid himself of them, feeling a unfamiliar sort of self-conscious. He knew he wasn't bad to look at by any stretch of the imagination, but having to follow a nude act like Hanzo was not ideal. Jesse then, however, got over this self-consciousness very quickly, reasoning that if Hanzo was only attracted to people in his league, he wouldn't be able to be attracted to anyone.

Jesse was pulled down to the mattress, on top of Hanzo, and Jesse quickly found that Hanzo's neck and chest and collarbone were made to be kissed and sucked and the way Hanzo groaned when Jesse scraped his teeth went straight to the pool of heat in his abdomen. He struggled not to rub himself against the warm, smooth skin and muscles of Hanzo's belly, wanting to be at least a little polite.

It was unclear to Jesse how exactly this was going to end, but he wasn't anywhere close to picky. Cautiously, he snaked a hand between them and rubbed his thumb against Hanzo's cock and gave him a questioning head-tilt, and when Hanzo flushed pink and reached under his mattress to pull out a small square of foil, Jesse got his answer.

"Christ." he said again.

At that point, Jesse had only made love twice before, and never with another man. But when Hanzo opened his legs, Jesse found that with a little preparation and a lot of coconut oil, the principal came naturally to him.

As they moved together, Jesse wished he could communicate verbally just how much he loved it to Hanzo, how obscenely good it was, how much he'd wanted it, how intimate it felt to literally be inside of him, but Jesse couldn't, so he tried to convey the message as best he could through sweet kisses and dirty sounds and heavy eye contact as Hanzo bounced ardently underneath him, hair fanned out against the sheets, eyes dark and cheekbones dusted with pink, mouth undone with heavy breath and sharp sighs. Jesse burned the image into his mind, planning on jerking off to it for the rest of his life.

" _Umai._ " Hanzo cried. " _Kimochii i."_  

"Goddamn, you are pretty." Jesse replied. "Utsukushii." 

Hanzo lifted his head to capture their mouths together. The kiss was sloppy and biting, giving Jesse a deep taste of Hanzo that went right to his core.

Jesse approached his peaking point fast. He hoped Hanzo hadn't expected him to have more than the expected stamina of an eighteen year-old boy balls deep in velvet. But he held out as long as he could, shutting his eyes and clearing his mind, determined to make this last until--

" _Ikisou_." Hanzo groaned, grabbing Jesse's shoulder. Jesse didn't know what the word meant, but from the desperate expression on his face and the way Hanzo's thighs started to tremble, Jesse gathered the meaning.

"Yeah, me too." Jesse replied. He snaked an arm between their stomachs, got a hand around Hanzo, and started to pump. 

Hanzo moaned loud and pressed his hips forward into Jesse's hand. Jesse stared at Hanzo's face with awe, at his expression of such unadulterated pleasure as the two of them babbled together in various languages. 

"I love it--love it so much--I'm gonna--"

Jesse squeezed his eyes shut, buried his face into Hanzo's shoulder, and jerked his pelvis forwards deep and long, right as Hanzo spilled into his hand with a final cry. Jesse matched it as he finished, just a second behind.

There was a long moment where they simply lied there, neither of them moving or speaking. Jesse felt like he was under water, very warm water that was hugging every part of him.  

" _God?'_ Jesse thought. ' _I know I don't really believe in you, or whatever, but if you are real, thank you very much for letting the third time be the charm._ '

Not wanting to crush Hanzo, Jesse pulled out slow and collapsed onto the sheets to Hanzo's left. To Jesse's immeasurable delight, Hanzo cuddled up next to him. Jesse tangled their arms together and snuggled his head onto Hanzo's chest, and they both giggled through their heavy breath.

"That was...fun." Jesse said.

"Arigato."

"No, don't you dare 'arigato', me, Hanzo. Arigato yourself. Arigato Hanzo."

Hanzo giggled again and Jesse nuzzled his dark head with a little hum.

Lying there, naked and plastered to Hanzo's chest, half-doped was something like nothing he'd ever experienced. When Hanzo reached up to card a hand through his hair, Jesse nearly purred. He looked to Hanzo and got a smile that was so wide and uncollected that he wondered, just for a moment, if maybe Hanzo was an angel.

Jesse brought their mouths together for another kiss, this time slow and indulgent and on the edge of a mutual snicker. Minutes passed, the two of them lying there, kissing, until Hanzo finally pulled away, wriggled from Jesse's grip, and got to his feet. He pointed to the shower, and motioned for Jesse to follow. Jesse complied, choosing to walk a few feet behind Hanzo.

Thankfully, there was a waste bin in the bathroom. Jesse rid himself of the latex.

Hanzo's shower was violently pleasant, with more jets than a hot tub and more kinds of soap than a salon. Their shower started with the slow, indulgent cleaning of Hanzo's abs, which then devolved into more kissing until Jesse realized that Hanzo had been under the hot water for so long that his skin had turned pink.

They returned to bed, radiating warmth, and when Hanzo curled up against Jesse's side and let his hair be played with, Jesse felt a sense of contentment swell so deeply in his chest that his breath shallowed to the point of lightheadedness.

Jesse McCree got no sleep that night with Hanzo Shimada. They stayed up in each other's arms. At one point, they took a few photos of each other, smiling and snuggling and covered by the blankets. At a later point, they took a few photos of each other uncovered by the blankets, and then Jesse learned what an encore was.

He was kicked out right before dawn to avoid anyone seeing him. Hanzo hadn't let him say goodbye, promising they would see each other again before he left.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse tossed his belongs into the ship with little enthusiasm. He felt like he'd been in Hanamura for a least a month, and packing up the ship felt on the bitter side of bitter-sweet. He wished he at least had a little more to come back to.

"We got a visitor." Marco said to Jesse, nudging his arm. Jesse's ears perked up.

He looked in the direction Marco was pointing to see a young man, maybe thirty feet away, hair long and clothing silken. Jesse's heart both soared and stung all at once.

"Oh, I know him." Jesse replied.

Marco raised an eyebrow, In hindsight, it maybe wasn't the best thing to say, but Jesse didn't care. He hauled the bag he was loading into the ship fast and took off towards Hanzo. When he arrived, Hanzo pulled him behind a wall, blocking them from sight.

Hanzo looked down. Jesse touched the undersides of Hanzo's forearms. Hanzo's eyes slipped closed, and Jesse's blood pumped hard as he thought about what he wanted to say.

"Ai shiteru yo." Jesse said. He knew, after reading the articles where he had found the word, that it was not a commonplace in Japanese culture to say, but Jesse just didn't care. Hanzo exhaled and his eyes flickered open to meet Jesse's gaze.  

"I love you." Hanzo replied.

Jesse had to struggle to not burst into tears. Hanzo threw his arms around Jesse, and Jesse nuzzled his face into the crook of Hanzo's neck, letting his eyes shut.

"I want you to have this." Jesse said after a few long moments, reaching into his pocket and handing Hanzo a thick bullet.

Hanzo snickered sadly for a moment, and then brought the bullet to his lips before sliding it into the folds of his clothing. He reached into his own pocket and handed Jesse an arrowhead. Jesse examined it carefully. It was sleek and modern, nothing like the obsidian ones up in museums he'd seen growing up, dug up by archaeologists and locals trying to make some quick cash. Jesse touched the tip, and his finger stung.

Jesse brought it to his lips, mirroring Hanzo's gesture. He slid it into his pocket.

They fell back into their embrace for what felt like too short of an eternity. Tragically, it was cut short by the sound of a distant voice.

" _Hanzo._ " Sojiro called, far off on the other side of the manor. " _Shimada Hanzo._ "

They didn't have much time.

Jesse tightened his grip on Hanzo's arms and kissed him a final time, slow and sweet. The sound it made when they pulled apart was one Jesse knew he was going to remember for a long time. Hanzo looked down. Jesse kissed his forehead.

Their brows fell together. Jesse thought one more time about trying to take Hanzo back to New Mexico with him, or wherever, but Jesse had already seen the ending of The Graduate once. 

" _Shimada Hanzo._ " Sojiro called again.

Looking less than enthusiastic about it, Hanzo stepped out of Jesse's arms, and Jesse knew they both had to go.

"Goodbye, Hanzo." Jesse said. He desperately tried to keep his voice from cracking, because he was an adult now. He still had a gang to to take care of, and he was starting to realize how of the fate of which was his responsibility. 

"Sayōnara, Jesse."

And then, Hanzo was off. Jesse forced himself not to watch, having little interest in watching Hanzo get smaller and smaller until the pinpointable moment when he disappeared forever. A few minutes later, Jesse retreated back to camp to find load out was ready.

"Who the fuck was that?" Marco asked.

Jesse blinked.

"My pen pal." he went with.

The ride back in the ship was a dream. Jesse fingered the arrowhead in his pocket. He thought about pulling his phone out to look at the pictures of Hanzo, but it somehow felt too soon.

All the way back in New Mexico. Jesse collected his share, checked out with Squeezebox, grabbed his bike, and bolted to the nearest tavern with a fake ID.

They didn't card him.

The place was dusty, the color of sand, with more wood chairs and pinball machines than clean glasses. Jesse walked to the bartending table and put his elbows down on the only spot on the counter that wasn't covered by someone's boots.

"Well, howdy, sweetheart." said the bartender, a middle-aged woman with a face like apple pie. "What can I get you for? You thirsty, you hungry? Or are you just drivin' through?"

Jesse eyed the shelves behind her with interest. They were packed to the ceiling with every kind of whiskey, vodka, rum, and tequila that Jesse could and couldn't name.

"You got liquor?" he asked.

The woman looked over her shoulder uncertainly, and then back at Jesse.

"Reckon I do." she said.

"I'll take one a' those, then."

Jesse was gifted his personal glass of liquor. He downed it, and asked for another. The alcohol softened the edges. He wouldn't have traded the memories of Hanzo for anything, but he couldn't help but feel bitter; he thought it extremely unlikely he would ever see Hanzo again.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes!
> 
> 1\. Hanzo danced to Holts's Chaconne.  
> 2\. There are two more chapters to this, unfinished. They're both shorter, maybe 5k words each at most, they should be out in the next few weeks.  
> 3\. Ya'll won't stop asking me if I have a tumblr so I [made one](https://urgaylol69.tumblr.com/) for my mchanzo stuff. It's baby new right now.  
> 4\. Don't be afraid to leave a comment. I, like every other artist (which I use in the loosest sense of the word) am deeply vain and need to scour for constant validation.


	2. The Second Time

Twelve years later, Jesse McCree knew everything about Shimada Hanzo, or at least everything that Blackwatch's folder had on him.

He knew that Hanzo had taken over his father's "business". He knew he'd tried to killed his brother, because Jesse worked with Hanzo's whirlwind of scowls and sharp edges of a brother. Furthermore, he knew that Hanzo had collected quite a reputation, although even with the fratricide, it wasn't anything too special for a mob boss. 

Still, Jesse couldn't help but feel a little...enthusiastic? Afluttered?--that he was going to be sent out, alongside Reyes and Moira, to meet with Mr. Shimada Hanzo regarding--

Well, Jesse didn't actually know what the meeting was regarding. Jesse hadn't been hired to get into politics, he'd been hired to look intimidating and shoot when something went wrong.

Jesse's head stung. He wandered out into the breakroom, body aching. He had a faint recollection of a tequila bottle being brought to his mouth yesterday night, but his memory cut out there. Once arrived at his destination, he downed the little hangover cure Angela had mixed him with some water from the sink. It burned going down, but it cleared his head well enough.

Reyes was seated on the breakroom couch, eyeing a holopad. He was decked out in mission gear, and Jesse checked his watch.

"Are we ready?" Jesse asked. "To pay Shimada a visit?"

Reyes looked up at Jesse like he was the biggest idiot in the world. Jesse was unfazed.

"I am. You aren't." Reyes answered.

Jesse looked down to make sure that his gun was holstered and his pants were on, assuming the comment was a passive-aggressive jab at his state of dress. However, he found himself both gunned and pantsed.

"What do you mean?" asked Jesse.

"You're not going."

Jesse eyed Reyes in disbelief. He'd known for days that he was going on the Hanamura mission. Reyes didn't even look up.

"And why ain't I goin'?" 

"You're at risk of emotionally compromising us."

Jesse's blood turned halfway to ice as he searched Reyes' face for meaning. Reyes couldn't have know about Deadlock's trip to Hanamura. Jesse had never told anyone here, not even Ana.

"What are you talking about?" Jesse pushed, feeling like he was eleven again and lying to his father.

"We aren't going to throw you in a room with a mob boss who you had an old-fashioned summer romance with."

Jesse's blood turned completely to ice.

"How do you know about that?"

"You got smashed on a hundred dollars worth of my liquor last night--which you better pay me for--and then you, uh, monologued for a while."

Jesse stared. 

"What did I say?" he hissed.

"It would take less time to tell you what you didn't say."

"What level a' detail are we talking?"

"Dammit, McCree, you told us what his fucking hair smelled like."

Reyes watched as Jesse groaned in a mixture of various emotions.

"Just tell me Genji didn't hear." Jesse said, not wanting to be killed in his sleep tonight.

"No, because I stuffed you in the third floor bathroom."

So that's why Jesse had woken up in the bathroom. Considering his hangover, it had actually been rather convenient arrangement.

"Anyway, point is," Reyes followed, lazily removing himself from the couch, "you're not going. See you later."

Jesse eyed Reyes with silent fury as he left the breakroom. He considered for a moment trying to convince Reyes to let him go, but it was pointless. He sighed, knowing this whole thing was his own damn fault.

He stared at the blank TV for a while, contemplating his own stupidity. Eventually, Reyes wandered back in.

"Forget what I said, you're coming." Reyes said. "Grab your shit and get in the ship."

Jesse's mouth almost fell open. He felt a rush of something, a mix of relief and confusion.

"Thought you said I wasn't goin'."

"Yeah, well, we need a third. Me and Jack's back up plan after your whole fiasco was to send Genji in your place. We just now realized how terrible of an idea that was, and no one else can go, so congrats, kid, you're on the team."

Jesse sighed and followed Reyes out the door.

 

~~~~

 

The ride to Japan was unpleasant. Moira brought along the transcript of Jesse's apparently very elaborate description of the old events of Hanamura, and even when she stopped reading from it, she insisted on only using adjectives that Jesse had used to describe Hanzo's hair. However, Jesse couldn't bring himself to care too much, so he peed in Moira's water bottle and called it a night.

They touched against the ground. Jesse passed through the side door of the ship to find the air much colder outside than in. It was nighttime Japan, after all, just shy of four in the morning, the only time of day there would be no one to stare at the three of them. Reyes and Moira came through next, and Reyes took the lead, silently taking them a few blocks down the quiet darkness.

Jesse could see the Shimada manor far off and up into the distance. He pulled his gaze away as Reyes slid a card the street door of an impressive sky scraper.

"The Yakuza have offices in the middle of downtown?" Jesse asked.

"Yakuza aren't inherently illegal." Reyes answered. "Like having fireworks or an atom bomb."

They entered the building, silent in the dead of night. If the ship ride had been unpleasant, the elevator ride was abysmal. Jesse kept his mouth shut, but he was the only one.

"...views on bioethics are archaic, Gabriel, and more than a bit superstitious."

"Yeah, well, fuck you too." 

The elevator door dinged and opened. They stepped into the hall. It resembled any other floor for businessmen Jesse might have seen in America, the only difference being that the name placks on every door were in Japanese. There was no indication that the Yakuza lurked here.

They stopped at a door that looked like every other. Jesse couldn't read the name on the plack, but he knew what it said.

"You two ready?" Reyes asked.

Jesse was absolutely not ready.

"Yeah." he replied. 

Reyes held the door open, but Jesse made sure Moira had passed through it first before entering the office.

As he stepped through the door, Jesse caught a flash of another presence arranging papers at a desk, but he quickly turned his gaze away to eye his surroundings, feeling like his heart was going to burst if he didn't.

Hanzo's office was a bit underwhelming. It was nice, sure, nothing too fancy, although Jesse had certainly seen worse. But it was grey and boring, like Jesse would have expected from a standard upper-management white-collar worker. There were just a few pieces of art, two paintings and a small statue, all of Eastern style. There was a window behind Hanzo's desk, but the blinds had been closed. There was a bow, a long, beautifully made thing, hanging on a holster, but there were no blades.

There were also no bodyguards. Jesse was surprised, considering Hanzo's status.

Reyes tapped him on the shoulder. Jesse took a seat next to him at the tiny table in front of the desk, and Jesse finally worked up the nerve to glace at the man sitting in it.

At first glance, the man sitting in the desk looked nothing like the photo Jesse still had safe in storage somewhere. This Hanzo's long, silky hair was gone, cropped short and slicked back into avian-like spikes. He'd grown a goatee, a well-manicures thing that faded expertly into a line of stubble that wrapped low on his jaw. But the longer Jesse looked, the more of Hanzo he saw; the sullen expression of this man matched the one Jesse saw on his face when Hanzo was interacting with his peers, the shape of his jaw was still the same under the black on his chin, and his eyes, though colder than Jesse had remembered, were a shape that Jesse didn't think he was ever going to forget.

As for clothing, Jesse recognized Hanzo's suit, the same blue and black styled thing that he'd worn when Jesse came to visit Sojiro all those years ago, but now he...filled it out a little better. Hanzo looked like he had gained at least fifteen pounds of solid muscle.

Despite everything, Jesse couldn't help but admit that Hanzo was still a fox. 

"Mr. Shimada?" Reyes asked.

Hanzo nodded, lingering on his paper. When he look up, he only looked at Reyes. Peaking under the left cuff of his shirt, Jesse caught sight of part of an intricate tattoo.

"Nice-- _uh_ \--nice place." Reyes followed, stammering through his usual deliberately lackluster attempt to disguise the transaction as something even remotely friendly.

"Do not waste my time." Hanzo replied.

Jesse remembered that voice, the rough timbre, although now it dropped into a bass range. Jesse nearly jumped to hear English on Hanzo's tongue.

"Maybe I was being authentic." Reyes grumbled.

Hanzo looked up to scan them. Jesse kept his face straight. Hanzo's eyes glazed over him with a disproving touch before he looked back to Reyes. 

Jesse felt a rush of disappointment. He knew he looked different. He'd grown two inches and put on significant bulk since the skinny kid he was when they'd last met, his jaw was set, and he now possessed the world's most killer sideburns, but still, Jesse hoped the hat would have given it away.

Maybe it did. After a moment, Hanzo's gaze flickered back to Jesse for a fraction of a second. Their eyes met, and Hanzo looked away.

"I'm Commander Reyes. Of Blackwatch." Reyes said. "These are my associates. O'Deorain and McCree."

Reyes pointed respectively.

Hanzo's right eyebrow jolted up a millimeter as the word 'McCree' left Reyes' mouth. Jesse wouldn't have noticed had he not been searching as intently as he was. He tipped his hat, but Hanzo paid him no mind, his face having settled.

"And what do you expect me to do with that information?" Hanzo asked with all the irritation of a house cat.

"It's proto--"

"Forget it. What's your opening bargain?"

Reyes grit his teeth and Jesse could tell he was annoyed. Usually, he got to be the asshole while the other guy grit his teeth and thought about how they usually got to be the asshole. 

"Short term, ten thousand creds a pound." Reyes answered, tossing a bag of white powder on the table. "Long term, some local black market, um, uh, credibility."

"Wait, this is what we're here to do?" Jesse asked, glaring hard. He knew what Blackwatch's role was, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

Reyes glared a hole through him.

"We're  _here_  to make political allies." Reyes growled. "Save it for your blog, McCree."

Hanzo seemed unfazed by the entire exchange. He examined the small bag on his desk, opening the top and pinching out some of the powder. Jesse watched, curious and aggravated, as Hanzo placed the granulates on a glass slide and slid them under an elaborate looking system of magnifying glasses hanging off the edge of his desk.

"I would ask if the rest of your stash is so pure," Hanzo started, "but I would be insulting the integrity of Blackwatch, and by extension, Overwatch."

' _Integrity_.' Jesse thought.

"What do you propose?" asked Reyes.

With that, Hanzo and Reyes launched into a whole new language; business. Jesse usually got bored when Reyes talked business. But this time it was a spectacle of sorts to see, Hanzo and Reyes both dancing around each other to both catch on to the other's attempts to swindle one another. Eventually, they met half way.

Hanzo looked good. Real good. Apparently, working with Hanzo's half-corpse of a brother wasn't enough to stop Jesse from the hope that Hanzo would give him some sort of signal with his fingers to somehow meet him later, or at least an acknowledgement. But unfortunately, Hanzo payed Jesse no attention. Jesse kept his eyes on him, giving him every opportunity, but Hanzo was glued to Reyes.

"You drive a hard bargain, Shimada." Reyes said. "But I'll see to it we meet our end. Blackwatch is pleased to be working with you."

"Blackwatch is indifferent to be working with me."

Reyes opened his mouth to argue before realizing both that Hanzo was right and that it wasn't worth it.

"Whatever." he replied.

Jesse gave Hanzo one more glace. He didn't push it, just stared and blinked, seeing if Hanzo gave him even a second of attention. It was all to no avail, and Jesse burned harder with more silent aggravation.

"Is there anything else?" Hanzo asked.

"No." Reyes answered, giving Jesse the tiniest side eye.

Jesse kept his mouth shut.

"Then you'll be off."

"Yes. Thank you, Mr. Shimada."

With that, Reyes motioned for them to leave. Jesse followed after Moira, somehow both numb and uncertain.

"Oh. Wait." Hanzo said. "One more thing. You, stay."

Jesse looked over his shoulder to see that Hanzo had raised his finger. It was pointing at Jesse.

Reyes groaned. 

Jesse's heart raced as he awkwardly strutted back to his seat. He reached into his pocket and fingered the sleek, metal arrowhead inside, but didn't take it out.

"Close the door." Hanzo said to Reyes.

" _No la cagues_." Reyes mumbled to Jesse.

"No me digas qué hacer." Jesse replied.

Reyes mimed decapitation as he huffed his way out the door. On the other hand, Moira waltzed out like she'd won the lottery. Jesse's flinched as the door clicked shut, and he kept his face straight as Hanzo walked to the front of his desk. Jesse got out his his chair so that they were both standing.

Hanzo's face was cold and blank. Jesse boiled with uncertainty. A few long moments went by while neither of them spoke.

"You speak English." Jesse said, finally. Hanzo eyed him like he was moron.

"Yes. Do not expect me to be impressed that you noticed."

"Time's been mighty kind to you." 

Just as they'd been from the moment Jesse walked in, Hanzo's eyes were dull and sad. Jesse hoped he could change that, maybe just for a while. Despite the detachment he'd inevitably had towards Hanzo over the years, it made him sad to think Hanzo was sad.

Hanzo sighed.

"It had been a while, McCree." he said.

"Whatcha been up to?"

Jesse's blood turned cold as Hanzo snickered, low and empty.

"You have not heard?" Hanzo asked. "I've taken on my father's business. Improved upon it, in fact."

"I heard a little. Didn't know the details. Uh, sorry about your old man." 

Hanzo snickered again. It sounded absolutely nothing like the way he'd laughed when they were young. 

"My father's downfall was his own pathetic sympathy, and I plan to succeed where he failed."

Jesse knew that wasn't true. Sojiro's downfall hadn't been at the result of anything related to sympathy, rather had come with him getting really, really high and accidentally driving his car off of the Akashi Kaikyō Bridge. Why Hanzo was lying, Jesse didn't know.

"Too much sympathy, huh?" Jesse asked.

"Yes. Just as my useless brother. He betrayed my clan. He is no longer with us, either."

In Jesse's most indulgent fantasies, his reunion with Hanzo had involved some minimal small talk and then a heaping portion of banter until Jesse felt safe enough to pull the arrowhead out of his pocket, and then maybe a bottle of wine and an exchange of phone numbers. When he applied it with any form of realism, he figured they would catch up but leave it at that, because Hanzo was a Yukuza boss and Jesse was a secret agent or something. However, talking about Hanzo's "dead" brother had not been in either of these fantasies.

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Jesse.

"You asked what I had been up to. I answered you."

"Meant it more along the lines a', 'hey, you got any hobbies?'"

"Interrogation." Hanzo answered. He pulled a small blade of bamboo out of his pocket and tapped it against the table.

Hanzo was lying once again. Jesse had read the reports. Mr. Shimada only used serums to interrogate, having been quoted teaching novices that torture was " _needlessly unethical and more importantly, inefficient._ "

"Do you usually interrogate with a sap spile?" Jesse asked, eyeing the bamboo tool. 

Hanzo frowned. He put the spile away.

"It doubles as a denailer." 

"No it don't. How about you drop the act?"

Jesse had always found that intentional recklessness was a good substitute for courage.

"Act?" Hanzo asked.

"The act. You're overplaying the whole bond villain angle."

"Overplaying?"

"Don't worry, they all do."

Hanzo looked aggressively unimpressed.

"And why should I drop the 'act', McCree?" he asked.

"Cause I was thinkin' we could talk. Catch up. Maybe go for a drink."

Hanzo's brows twisted in confusion for a few long moments. Then, he started to chuckle. It was not a friendly sound, but Jesse kept his head high.

"Wait. Wait." Hanzo started, still laughing to himself in what sounded like amusement and disbelief. "Did our time together as children actually mean something to you?"

Hanzo's words were so overly cruel that Jesse felt a wave of bewilderment before the sting set in.

"Yeah." Jesse admitted coldly. "But I guess that ain't the consensus."

"We were children."

Jesse had absolutely no way to prove it, but he suspected Hanzo had been leading this entire conversation since they'd started talking and that they were right where he wanted them to be.

"And?" 

"It means nothing to me. Nothing. We were children. I am not that pathetic, sobbing boy. That boy is dead." 

"I don't--"

"Did you, perhaps, think that a few therapy sessions and a night in bed with me was going to keep me from going down this road in life?"

Hanzo grit his teeth. Jesse raised a startled eyebrow, analyzing Hanzo's words in his head as sudden confusion boiled over his sadness and anger.

"No." Jesse replied, confused. "What?"

"So sorry to disappoint you." Hanzo mocked.

Jesse fell silent, no longer sure what was going on. He didn't understand Hanzo's motivation behind any of his actions. A long moment of silence passed, and eventually, Hanzo grit his teeth.

"I killed my brother." he said. 

Jesse kept his mouth shut as the image of Genji the cyborg echoed in his mind. As for Hanzo's timeliness, Jesse had to bite back a statement about not remembering having asked.

"Why did you call me in here?" Jesse asked, gritting his teeth right back.

"There's something I wish to say to you. Something I've wished to say every time I've seen your face in my mind for the last ten years."

"And what's that?"

"I hate you."

Even before Hanzo uttered the words, Jesse wasn't exactly having the time of his goddamn life, but at that moment, Jesse felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He tried his best not to let it show in his face, but it must have, at least a little.

"You hate me." Jesse repeated, attempting to numb himself.

"Yes."

Hanzo stared at Jesse like he was waiting to hear a reply.

"Is that all you wanted to tell me?" asked Jesse, and from the drop in Hanzo's face, Jesse suspected he hadn't said the right thing.

"Yes. You're free to go."

Jesse grit his teeth.

"Why do you hate me?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice steady.

"Is it not obvious?"

"No. Stop trying to manipulate me. Just tell me what you want me to do."

Hanzo's face twisted into a sneer. Jesse matched it with his own.

"No." Hanzo replied.

"No?"

"I will not stop trying to manipulate you."

Jesse felt vaguely like a mouse being mocked and toyed with by an emotionally unstable house cat. It pissed him off.

"Ok. So." Jesse started. "You brought me in here, lied about your business practices, told me that what we did all those years ago didn't mean anything, told me you killed your brother, told me you--you hated me, and finally, told me you ain't gonna stop tryin' to manipulate me."

"Yes."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

Jesse's voice came out raised, just shy of a yell. Hanzo straightened up, suddenly looking intrigued. 

"You insult me." said Hanzo. "I have killed men for less."

"Goddamn it, sure you have."

Hanzo closed the distance between the two of them. He didn't throw a punch or even knock Jesse off his feet, just shoved him. Like they were two kids on a playground. Jesse shoved him right back. He knew he should just leave, that there was no way that this would end well, but he was so angry it didn't matter.

And still, as much as much as it filled him with shame, especially now, he wanted Hanzo. Wanted Hanzo to tell him he was lying, that he didn't hate him, that Jesse wasn't the only one who still thought about their time together a few times a year. Wanted Hanzo to accept him. Kind of wanted Hanzo's body. 

With Hanzo's next strike, Jesse found himself crashing backwards into Hanzo's desk, papers flying astray. Hanzo closed in on him again, grabbing a handful of his shirt. Jesse might have put on some bulk, but a punch from Hanzo looked like it could kill if it wanted to. But instead, he simply found Hanzo's angry face, just a few inches from his own, and he realized what was happening just a second before it happened.  

He exhaled as Hanzo's mouth connected with his.

It was a deep and biting exchange, full of teeth and tongue. Jesse found himself both loving and loathing it. It felt like poison, an educated rock could have sensed the twisted perversion. And yet, Jesse couldn't pull away, too entranced by the charge left by Hanzo's heavy breath and squeezing hands and the smell of him that had Jesse suddenly doped on nostalgia.

Hanzo pulled away quickly and shoved Jesse back further until they were both on the desk and Jesse was forced into a seated position. Hanzo shoved his knee between Jesse's legs, parting them. Their mouths fell together again.

Despite how overwhelming the whole thing was, with Hanzo's hands squeezing every part of him, Jesse took a moment to question Hanzo's motivations. He knew Hanzo was still trying to manipulate him, but to do what, Jesse couldn't say. Maybe Hanzo just wanted some really angry sex.

"Take this off." Hanzo mumbled into his mouth, pulling at Jesse's belt.

Jesse fumbled with his buckle, helpless as Hanzo yanked his pants down so hard it hurt before burying his face in Jesse's neck for a few bruising kisses. Jesse gasped in pain when Hanzo bit down, but then suddenly it was too much and all Jesse wanted was to sit down and talk, for Hanzo to stop lying so that Jesse could figure out what the fuck was going on. Hanzo grabbed his waistband, but before he could pull, Jesse pushed Hanzo away, overwhelmed. This was wrong. There was no way Jesse could spin this in his mind where it didn't leave him feeling sick.

"What do you want?" Jesse asked with a confused frown.

Hanzo's pupils were massive. 

"For you to hate me." Hanzo answered. 

Jesse pulled back and stared deep into Hanzo's face. Hanzo gave every indication that he was being serious. 

"Ok, no." Jesse said, removing himself from the desk with a shuffle. "No. I ain't gonna do this. I can handle a lot, but this is too fucked up."

Jesse zipped his pants back up, ignoring his hard-on. Hanzo blinked.

"What we had meant a lot to me." Jesse continued. "That ain't gonna change. I don't understand why you're acting like this. I know there's a reason for it, but I don't think you're gonna let me find out what it is, least not right now. So I say this with the upmost respectability; work your shit out."

Face still calm, Hanzo pulled his bow off the wall and knocked an arrow in one fluid motion. He didn't pull it back, but the implications weren't lost.

"Get out." Hanzo replied.

Jesse got out. He didn't slam the door, but from his expression, he was pretty sure that his associates could tell things could have gone better.

"How'd it go?" Moira asked from her seated spot against the door opposite to Hanzo's. Jesse didn't answer her. He kept his mouth shut as Reyes quickly led them back to the ship, desperately wanting to be somewhere else and by himself.

Jesse gave Fio a minimal greeting and sat down by himself on the ship, pretending to be asleep as soon as the ship took off. About ten minutes into the ride, he felt a weight next to him as Reyes sat down. Reyes nudged him, and Jesse pretended to wake up.

"Hey." Reyes said.

Jesse didn't reply. Reyes sighed.

"We still got the deal, right?" he followed.

"Far as I know." 

Reyes didn't reply, but he didn't leave, either. Jesse raised an eyebrow. 

"You sure know how to pick 'em." said Reyes.

"I like men that remind me a' you." Jesse replied, dull and bitter.

Reyes' face twisted first with shock and then with disgust. Jesse felt a numb sort of victory.

"Don't ever say something like that again to me again, McCree. Don't you ever."

Jesse gave a lazy little salute. Reyes deserved it.

The rest of the ride was uneventful. Jesse kept his face straight and didn't say anything, didn't interact with anyone unless he had to. Even Moira left him alone. 

Once they returned to base, Jesse checked out with Reyes and gave Morrison his report of what had happened. Considering that Hanzo still agreed to Blackwatch's bargain, Morrison didn't press for details regarding the kissing part, simply writing down ' _mutually failed seduction_ ' on the report. He let Jesse go, just shy of sunrise.

When Jesse showed up at Ana's door, she didn't asked why his eyes were glassy.

 

~~~

 

For reasons he didn't understand and didn't particularly want to, Jesse kept tabs on Hanzo Shimada. Or at least, he tried to, but a year or two after their second meeting, Hanzo dropped completely off the grid. Then again, so did Jesse.

He didn't see Hanzo Shimada for another twelve years.


	3. The Third Time

Jesse wandered back into Watchpoint from the ship. He was tired and hungry, although for a two week mission, he could have been fairing a lot worse. He'd managed to get at least a solid six hours most nights, and thanks to Winston's kindness and philosophies regarding the mental and physical health of his employees, Jesse'd been fed well enough. 

Still, his shower was a thing of wonder.

After he'd dried out and changed into clean clothes, Jesse found he had seventeen missed text messages, all sent in the last ten minutes, and all from Genji. Fifteen of the texts were ordering Jesse to come down to the breakroom, that Jesse had to come ' _meet someone_ '. Two were close up pictures of Morrison, asleep, wearing a tiny pink hat.

Jesse put his hat on and left his quarters for the breakroom, skeptical. The last time Genji had asked him to meet someone, Jesse had ended up face to face with three inch long cardinal spider.

The walk to the breakroom was short. Jesse opened the door to immediately see Genji, visor removed, smiling at him like an idiot. Jesse was ninety percent sure he was about to get pranked as Genji pulled him into a hug.

"Welcome back!" Genji greeted, his feet leaving the ground.

"Woah there." Jesse said as he carefully peeled Genji from his person.

"How was the mission?"

"We got--"

"Glad to hear it. There is someone--"

"Yo, Eastwood's back!" Lucio interrupted, arriving with Ana, Hana and Rienhardt, who's presence blocked most of Jesse's sight.

Lucio, Ana, and Rien all started to talk at once. Jesse tried to respond respectively and answer their questions, but the task proved itself to be solidly difficult. However, Jesse didn't mind, as his coworkers enthusiasm towards him was always flattering.

"You were gone?" asked Hana. 

"All of you, go away." Genji cut in before Jesse could say anything, shooing them. "You can do whatever you want to him when I'm finished."

It was a struggle, but eventually, Genji managed to get the three to go re-disperse themselves with the other members of the breakroom, threatening to hit the self-destruct button that he apparently had. Jesse just sat back and watched the chaos, blissfully confused.

"Finally. Alright, McCree." Genji started once they were alone. "I'd like you to meet someone. A new recruit. He got here ten days ago, so you're the only one he has not been acquainted with."

Genji moved a little to the side and Jesse scanned the occupants of the room for anyone new. Genji gave him a frilly pink drink with a little umbrella. 

"Another one?" Jesse asked. "Brig ain't enough of a hand--"

Jesse cut himself off as he sensed a sort of unfamiliar presence off to the left. He turned his gaze and spotted a new figure looking mildly uncomfortable in between Angela and Mei.

Long black hair, muscular build, and clearly east Asian, even from the back. Jesse's heart started to pound.

"Hanzo?" Genji called, and Jesse just about died. "Hanzo!"

Over the few years since the recall of Overwatch, Jesse had casually asked Genji a few times about his brother. Genji had only given him that Hanzo was on the other side of the planet and that they were writing to each other. Jesse'd been tempted to request Genji to message Hanzo for him, but decided against it, not wanting to give himself away or risk hurting Genji's relationship with Hanzo, which seemed like it was just starting to repair. Jesse had no idea that Hanzo had even been thinking of joining Overwatch. 

Hanzo peaked out from his conversation, turning towards Genji's voice. His eyes widened, and Genji beckoned him over.

Jesse tried not to stare.

Hanzo's face and build hadn't changed much in the last twelve years, but his hair had grown out and the sides were touched with grey. He was back to wearing loose, traditional silken clothing, with a gi that unnecessarily showed off the entire left side of his chest and the full tattoo that Jesse had only caught a bit of in their last meeting, a beautiful sleeve of intricate dragons and storm clouds.

Jesse hoped he'd had a good first few weeks.

"Yes, I know." Genji said to Jesse, annoyed. "He is very attractive. Please don't gawk, he's frightened enough just to be among the other humans."

Jesse didn't bother to tell Genji that the fact that Hanzo had aged like Ted Danson had very little to do with the reason he was staring. Hanzo walked over on uncertain feet, and Genji took him by the shoulder.

"Jesse, this is my brother, Hanzo." said Genji, turning Hanzo towards Jesse. "Hanzo, this is Jesse McCree, the one who was in Numbani. My very good friend and three times winner of our annual hot sauce drinking contest. And no, the hat does not come off."

"Pleased to meet you." Hanzo said. He gave a little bow.

Jesse's heart pounded.

"Howdy." Jesse replied, reaching for Hanzo's hand. Hanzo's skin met his, followed by his eyes. Jesse searched desperately to glean any information from Hanzo's face, but found none available.

"Hanzo is fond of boasting excessively about his marksmanship and drinking himself into a stupor to avoid dealing with his severe emotional issues, so you two have that in common." Genji said. "Perhaps you should talk about that while I go...to the bathroom."

Genji was then off, leaving Jesse alone with the man who he hadn't gone a year without thinking about for over two decades. Despite everything, Jesse couldn't help but internally snicker a little at the absurdity, as well as Genji's clear desperation to get his brother to make friends.

Jesse eyed Hanzo. Hanzo didn't look like he was going to make any attempt to speak first.

"Your brother's a charmer." Jesse said, feeling like he was looking down the barrel of a gun.

Hanzo frowned. Well, he was already frowning, but he frowned harder. It didn't look too much like a displeased frown, more one of thought. Although Jesse couldn't say for sure.

"He is always trying to set me up." Hanzo replied.

"Yeah, me too. It never goes well, but I ain't one for, uh, holding grudges."

Hanzo's brow twisted in such a way that Jesse suspected his double entendre had not been lost. However, this made Hanzo's silent contemplation and boring eyes all the more intimidating as the seconds ticked by, until Jesse could not longer stand the silence.

"I uh..." Jesse stuttered. "You--"

"I do not hate you." Hanzo said.

Jesse chuckled, deep and loud in his surprise. Hanzo's face softened.

"Never thought you did." Jesse replied once he had caught his breath, moderately endeared.

"You lie to me."

"Well, I hoped you didn't."

It felt strange to smash the tension with a sledge hammer. They both drifted their gazes downward and Jesse held back another laugh.

"I was not proud of who I was." Hanzo said, eyes fixed on the drink in Jesse's hand. "And I wanted to save you the disappointment of seeing the kind of man I had become in as timely a manner as was possible."

"That's what I hoped it was."

"You hoped my cruelty was so specific?"

"Like I said. I hoped the reason you told me you hated me was somethin' other than you hating me."

Hanzo's eyes fell lower. Jesse felt a sudden temptation to squeeze Hanzo's shoulder, or to tilt Hanzo's chin up so that they were looking each other in the eyes. He resisted.

"I am...regretful." said Hanzo.

Hanzo didn't seem like the kind of person to emote in public, but his face fell, with subtle twists of real pain and remorse in his expression and body.

"It's alright." Jesse replied.

"My actions were deeply cruel, made crueler still by hurting you being my intention at the time. I don't know what I can say to truly pay my--"

"It's alright."

"You are too kind. Foolishly kind." 

"It's really alright."

Hanzo closed his eyes.

"What I did to you was...sickening. And I do not know if a simple apology can suffice."

"Look, Hanz--can I call you Hanz?" Jesse asked.

"No."

"Ok. Look, darlin'--"

"Absolutely not."

"Fine. Look, sugar tits--"

"Go to hell _._ "

"--in all the goddamn honesty in the world, if I'd been the one who was raised in a repressive, deterministic environment by two parents who pushed me to become an organized crime leader capable of killing everyone and their mama in cold blood by invoking a fuck ton a' shame in me from day one, feedin' me warped ideas about the greater good, and pushing me to do gradually more and more violent shit; climaxing 'round manipulating me into an act of fratricide that would inevitably pull me apart with unfathomable guilt but all while I was still completely lost on what the right thing to do was, that if around that time I with no warning bumped into the foreign boy who twelve years ago, consistently saw me deeply vulnerable and crying my eyes out, I might a' been kind of a dick too." 

Hanzo blinked. Jesse held his breath, wondering if he was going to get an arrow through his head.

"I see you've thought about this." Hanzo replied, warm enough, and Jesse breathed a sigh of relief.

"I took a psych 101 course."

"You went to college?"

Jesse eyed Hanzo's expression to see that it was just a touch mischievous. Jesse grinned, he could work with that. 

"I did. I'm very proud of my online degree."

Hanzo's face softened into just a touch of a smile. Jesse felt a little flutter.

"You dismiss my faults on those around me." Hanzo said.

"Yeah, well, if I tried hard enough, I reckon I could dismiss em' on god. But I don't wanna talk about that. How you settling in?" 

"I am alright, I suppose. I don't yet know how to feel for Overwatch, but I trust my brother's ability to see wrong from right."

Hanzo paused.

"The individual people, however, seem unquestionably kind." he followed. "Although the...English one does not care for me."

Jesse eyed Lena in his peripheral vision. She was in an animated conversation with Genji, who was supposed to be in the bathroom.

"'English one' will come 'round, just give her time." Jesse replied. "She has a little trouble dealin' with anything more morally complex than Star Wars. She didn't like me at first, neither."

"Why not?"

"I said that laws were for schmoes. And I jaywalked one too many times."

Hanzo rolled his eyes but chuckled enough for Jesse to call it a win.

"She's a damn good lady, though." Jesse quickly added. "Done a lot for this world. Probably more than me."

"I understand."

A little chunk of hair fell into Hanzo's eyes. Hanzo brushed it away.

"Speaking a' settlin' in." Jesse followed, suddenly self conscious. "Did you know that--that I..." 

Jesse trailed off.

"Yes." Hanzo said, thankfully reading between the lines. "My brother mentioned to me in a letter sent last year that he worked for Blackwatch a little over a decade ago. In another letter he mentioned an American friend who currently worked for Overwatch who he'd met in Blackwatch."

"Oh."

"I considered asking him to warn you--but--"

"It's alright."

Hanzo looked just a tiny bit more relieved.

"My brother is very fond of you." he said.

"Happy to hear it. I'm fond a' him."

"Everyone here is fond of you.--"

"Really now?"

"They speak of you often."

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"What do they say?" he asked, half in overdone self-obsession and half in genuine curiosity.

"I suddenly fear telling you will only encourage your sense of vanity." Hanzo replied, and Jesse was delighted to hear an insult.

Jesse made a show of running his eyes up the exposed hyper definition of Hanzo's chest and arms.

"Figured it would give you something to relate to." he said.

"My body is practical. A tool."

"You got me there. If we ever need someone to first on a desert island from lack a' adipose, you'll come in handy."

"Which would be practical in an altruistic sense, as you could consume me for my substance. You have simply proved my point."

"You wouldn't be good to eat. Ain't got no fat. It'd burn more calories to chew you down than your meat would give us."

"It seems you have already thought this through."

"Only for sexual fulfillment."

There was a terrifyingly empty half second where Hanzo only looked confused and Jesse worried he'd been a little too weird, but then Hanzo snickered, light but unmistakable, to Jesse's immense relief. It was a lovely sound, and Jesse brought his eyes quickly to Hanzo's left hand, checking for a ring around his second finger.

There was none.

"On the subject of fraternal consumption," Hanzo said once he was done snickering, "how does Overwatch feel about resorting to cannibalism?"

"Winston's generally against, 'less it's a 'they're already slain and it's a worse case kinda scenario', far as food goes."

"I see."

"Personally, I'd rather like to be eaten after I'm dead. Seems--"

"Less wasteful? I agree. It would be my honor to pay a final service to this world with my corpse. Although according to you, it would be a disservice."

Jesse grinned, enjoying himself for more reasons than one. Nobody ever wanted to talk to him about the ethics and more importantly, the perks of cannibalism, but Hanzo had nearly brought up the topic himself.

"I will say though, even though it didn't go over well last time I did, but far as your inedible body goes, time's been a goddamn doll to you."

"I am aware." replied Hanzo with the touch of a smile and no animosity in sight.

"I suppose it has been..." Hanzo continued, a moment later, "fine to you. As well."

"Whatcha tryin' to say there, archer?"

"And once again you prove my comment regarding vanity."

Hanzo actually looked a little flustered. 

"I got a question for you." Jesse said.

"What is it?"

"Do you still dance?"

Hanzo stiffened.

"Not sober." he answered. "Do you still sing?"

"Yeah. Sober and otherwise. That one always makes me at birthdays."

Jesse pointed at Ana. Hanzo turned to look.

"Hey, I gotta 'nother question." said Jesse, more anxious about this one.

"Yes?"

"I know it was a long time ago, when we met, but I gotta know; what where you thinking? What did you think of some American boy on your turf who didn't speak a word of your language?"

Hanzo chuckled to himself. Jesse eyed him.

"Originally, I was perplexed that someone of your economic status and nationality could manage to preform simple tasks, let alone communicate effectively with me." Hanzo answered.

"Uh."

"Yes?"

"You do see the--"

"Deep-seated elitism? I do now."

Jesse grinned. 

"What else did you think?" asked Jesse.

"That you were quite exotic."

"Oh, that makes it worse."

"I am aware."

Jesse chuckled. Hanzo's mouth softened.

"I thought you were clever." Hanzo continued, slowly, eyes still on Jesse's drink. "And...perceptive. And kind." 

"Was going for more of a devil may care kinda thing, but I'll take what I can get."      

"Then I will also give you reckless, and overly impulsive, with a difficultly learning from your mistakes."

"Hey now."

"What were you thinking, McCree?"

Jesse looked down at his hands but failed to hide the grin that was growing on top of his already smiling face.

"Thought you were adorable." Jesse answered.

Hanzo looked unimpressed.

"Adorable." he replied.

The word sounded unnatural from Hanzo's mouth.

"Apparently that ain't what you were fishin' for?"

"Would it be conceded of me to have hoped for something less patronizing?"

"Depends on what 'less patronizing' means."

"Impressive. Physically and intellectually."

"Yes."

"Yes in that you thought those of me? Or yes that it would be conceded of me to hope you did?"

"Yes." 

Hanzo gave a little scoff. Jesse decided he liked the sound.

"We sure communicated well." Jesse admitted.

"That we did. Better than many of those who's languages I did speak. Which only begs the question--"

"Will we communicate better or worse with words?"

"Exactly."

Jesse felt like there was some optimism to be gleaned from this exchanged.

"Since we're already on the subject, I'll ask if the, uh, did the fact that we were both men affect you at all?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo twisted his face in thought for a moment before growing amused at something Jesse couldn't see.

"No. At the time, I assumed bisexuality was the dominant sexual orientation." Hanzo answered.

"...Huh."

"I will take it that was not the case for you?"

"I was kinda confused."

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"We can talk about it later." Jesse said. "I wanna hear more about some a' your conclusions and how you came to 'em."  

Hanzo nodded and there was a moment where neither of them spoke. Hanzo looked like he was debating something, and he finally opened his mouth.

"Oh. I, um." Hanzo stammered. "Have something for you. Please do not take it as a gesture of anything grandiose, but..."

Hanzo trailed off and shuffled for something in the pouch at his hip. He pulled out a bullet and pressed it into Jesse's hand. Jesse examined it. It was an old bullet, maybe twenty or thirty years old, thick and American. A few moments of confusion passed by before Jesse recognized it.

Jesse would have denied that he got a little choked up.

"I also kept..." Hanzo followed, pulling out a few yellowed scraps of paper. Jesse sifting through them, confused for a short moment, until he recognized them as the drawings he and Hanzo had swapped back and forth of their families and crab politics and a few other subjects.

"They are not on me all the time--" said Hanzo, "I knew we would most likely be reunited today--"

"Nah, I get it. I would a' brought your arrowhead if I'd known you were gonna be here. It's sittin pretty in my sock drawer."

It wasn't obvious, but Jesse thought Hanzo looked pleased.

"So I notice you ain't married." said Jesse, figuring this was as good a time as any.

"And I noticed that your arm has been replaced with an educated tin can, but I did not mention it."

"You single?"

"Are you serious?"

Jesse gave a slow little smile. 

"I'm curious." he answered. 

"Well then."

A moment passed. Hanzo looked down and shook his head, his smile seemingly unable to completely dissipate.

"So?" Jesse asked.

"What?"

"Are you single?"

Hanzo scoffed and turned his gaze to the right of Jesse's head.

"Yes." Hanzo finally answered. "I am." 

"What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"Don't do this."

Hanzo actually covered his face in his hands. Jesse readjusted his approach.

"Look, darlin', I ain't gonna break if you say no. I've got plenty of reason to live without a date. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't just...feel right."

"You truly want a...after what I did to you?"

"Did what? Kept me some goddamn good company so I didn't have to hang out with the dumbest gang of idiots on the planet? Taught me how to do a leg wheel take down? Bought me ramen? Reckon I do."

Hanzo's hands left his face but he still didn't look convinced.

"Please do not allow yourself to be blinded by my collectedness, or the fact that my spirit resides in the body of a god." Hanzo replied. "I am but a shattered image of a man. I apologize for my frankness, but I have seen who you are and you deserve much better than--"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, sweetheart, cause I'm a goddamn trainwreck of a human being."

Hanzo looked skeptical.

"You hold down a steady job and several healthy relationships, from what I can tell." Hanzo said. "I've not yet observed your dynamic with the rest of this team firsthand, but from what I can tell from photos and snippets of conversation, you are seen a token of emotional stability."

"All smoke and mirrors. I've just fooled everyone." 

"Prove it."

Jesse grinned. Hanzo crossed his hands over his chest.

"I've, uh, killed a lotta people for a man who sure don't enjoy killin'." Jesse started.

"Sounds traumatizing."

"I've been shell shocked 'bout eight times over, but I ain't been to one shrink. Repression is kinda my only tactic."

"You've done a good job."

"It'll come out when I go senile. Which I can assure you, I will."

"Runs in the family?"

"All four grandparents."

"Do you drink?"

Jesse pulled out his flash of whiskey from his hip and spiked the already alcoholic drink Genji had given him. He downed it in one swig, some of it ending up on his shirt.

"I could outdrink a donkey." Jesse answered.

Hanzo looked even more unimpressed, somewhat mockingly so. 

"Only a donkey?" he asked.

"Well, I'm sorry that ain't enough."

"I could and have outdrank a Bactrian Camel."

"I don't believe you. Your teeth are too pretty."

"You assume I usually ingest my alcohol orally. Foolish."

Jesse snorted and laughed so hard that several others looked over, including Genji. Hanzo's face was perfectly straight, which only made the whole thing funnier.

But finally, Hanzo's face wavered into a tiny smile.

"You gotta dirty mind, Shimada." Jesse said once he'd regained his composure. "But in all honesty, I guess I'm gettin' by."

A moment passed. Hanzo suddenly looked a lot more serious.

"I appreciate your decorations of volatility," Hanzo started, "but I have kept my tabs on you. And the work you do. You are simply, a better man than I am. Morally."

Jesse looked deep into Hanzo's stone expression. He matched it and searched for something, anything to say to assuage Hanzo's guilt.

"I don't pay my taxes." he blurted, as earnest as he could manage.

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo snorted and gave a real laugh, less collected than the few chuckles he'd dropped. Jesse was more than a little pleased to watch his face twist with delight. However, it lasted very shortly, as Hanzo wiped his face clean and returned once again to his little frown with a bit of an embarrassed little noise, likely due to the new batch of stares they got, again especially from Genji.

"I suppose I can handle...dinner." Hanzo started. "No, not dinner, I worry about the...implications. Not that I am necessarily opposed to those implications--I do not want--"

"I think I understand. I feel the same mess a' half-finished thoughts myself."

"Why don't you meet me at the range? I have heard good things about your marksmanship."

"What time?"

Hanzo checked his watch.

"The present is as good a time as any." he answered.

"What, right now?"

"Give me a quarter of an hour. I need to gather my equipment."

"Alright. I'll meet you."

Hanzo side stepped politely away and there was an awkward moment where Jesse tried to do the same thing and crashed into him, but it was over in a few seconds.

"Do not be late." Hanzo warned.

And with that, he was off, leaving a warm feeling in Jesse's chest. He neared in the coffee maker, feeling the stupid grin on his face but too lazy to figure out how to make it go away. Genji joined him.

"What did you do?" Genji asked, genuine surprise boiling under his visor.

"Huh?"

"What did you say to Hanzo? I haven't seen him speak to someone for that long in--well, a very long time. And he _smiled_."

"We just talked about the weather."

Genji did not look convinced, but Jesse honestly didn't want to continue the discussion. Further more, Ana and a few others looked like they were thinking of pulling him into a conversation regarding his most recent mission. Jesse stepped aside to leave the breakroom before that happened, having no intentions of being late.

"Where are you going?" Genji asked.

"I got a boy waitin' for me at the gun range."

Genji didn't get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey despite the fact that I feel obligated to act like I loath my work to save myself from potential shame, you can [tip me here](https://ko-fi.com/urgaylol) if you want. Please don't feel obligated to, I don't need the money. But if I ever get rich off of trading crypto currency I'll reimburse you.
> 
>  
> 
>  


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